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Please help. Karma worked out on him but I'm in tears...

(23 Posts)
Inexperiencedchick Tue 21-Mar-17 22:34:19

I wrote about him here quite a lot. The way he treated me, abused me emotionally and left me easily when I wasn't ready for a shag...
3 years on and today I signed up for OLD and he is there. He broke up, but I'm not reacting the way I have to (I suppose).
I'm sad, in tears...
I don't know what to do.

ocelot7 Tue 21-Mar-17 22:40:57

What way do you have to react?
That you are upset suggests you may not be sufficiently over him to date yet? Remind yourself that he didn't can me back to you when they broke up (though after 3 years I really hope you weren't holding out for that!)
Best would be to block him so you can't see what he's doing. Or find another site.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach Tue 21-Mar-17 22:43:07

Don't go back there OP.

Inexperiencedchick Tue 21-Mar-17 22:47:25

I'm not going back.
Does my tears mean I'm not over him?!
I know myself that I was hoping to meet him one day, but I don't want now...
I actually thought everything worked out well for him and he probably has a child, but it seems it didn't. And he is not looking for relationship now, only for dating...
This is sad, very sad.

category12 Tue 21-Mar-17 22:59:40

He might be cheating.

PickAChew Tue 21-Mar-17 23:01:43

Agree with category.

Inexperiencedchick Tue 21-Mar-17 23:08:46

Maybe, haven't thought about it...

Hissy Tue 21-Mar-17 23:12:00

No love, the tears are for you, for the pain you felt and they are to heal you and make you love yourself more.

And yes... dating, not wanting relationship? Usually cheating... or damaged, either way, you're worth way more!

Inexperiencedchick Tue 21-Mar-17 23:19:28

His age is different, shown 2 years younger than he is in real.
For a moment I thought I'm going mad. That picture from 2014, I will never forget it.

Does this mean karma wanted me to see what's going on?

Hissy thanks for the support. 💐

debbs77 Wed 22-Mar-17 00:06:44

I still get upset over my ex 7 years on. He hurt me badly. I would never take him back but we had 13 years and 4 children's hard to get over those emotions.

Just block him if you can and don't look

SparklyMagpie Wed 22-Mar-17 00:11:53

What's the background?

You should be thankful you made a lucky mistake !

SparklyMagpie Wed 22-Mar-17 00:13:55

An look he's even lying about his age. Who wants to be with a liar?! If it was meant to work out it would have, but seems to me it'd better that it didn't. Allow yourself a cry and then try to move on sweet

Inexperiencedchick Wed 22-Mar-17 00:20:41

Just spoke with a good friend of mine. She actually is pleased for his outcome and very supportive.

Thank you MNs, xxx

TheNaze73 Wed 22-Mar-17 07:53:07

Karma doesn't exist.

He's cheating, move on. You're so much better out of it

Inexperiencedchick Wed 22-Mar-17 12:09:28

He is single, looking for a relationship... not cheating...

I guess it doesn't matter.
It's the man who demanded sex from me stating "relationship starts from sex" When we just started to date I offered him everything myself... He, on the hand started to belittle me in public: "You have eaten more than last time; I can't get married with a girl who stuck her tongue in my mouth; Find a husband for yourself, I won't change it"; sworn at me, left me crying on the street, etc etc. All because I was asking him to date me and marry me (both muslims). Even if he wouldn't marry, I would have lived with him if he treated me well and allowed me to date him properly. But he didn't want to waste time on me at all. "Here I bought you a dinner, now come to my place."

A friend of mine just asked "Is it the person who was demanding things and making conditions? When I said, yes he is. Her reply: "He is finished and damaged person, its early days for him. You should be proud for standing up for yourself."

category12 Wed 22-Mar-17 12:52:17

Bullet dodged, he sounds absolutely awful.

I hope you set good boundaries for yourself in future relationships: you need to value yourself higher than to accept such rubbish treatment from a man like that.

PickAChew Wed 22-Mar-17 12:57:07

I pity anyone who tries to date him. He sounds truly vile. A vile, rapey misogynist.

pocketsaviour Wed 22-Mar-17 20:41:37

I get a bit pedantic about "karma" as touted on many threads.

The concept of karma actually refers to the theory of reincarnation. You would never get your "karma" in this world as this would literally be in revolt of the whole concept.

I find the phrase "cunts of a feather flock together" or "haters gon hate" to be much more satisfying.
Along with whatever pithy phrase I've used when kicking some cunt literally in the face

Inexperiencedchick Wed 22-Mar-17 21:16:32

Pocket if you remember you supported me through my first thread where I couldn't get my head around and why he dumped me when I was begging him to stay. All because I told NO for sex. Not when I'm not ready at least.
The words he used when he jumped into the relationship with his EX were rude and hurtful.
I'm calm and have a normal life while being alone. But when I saw him on OLD I couldn't believe my eyes...
I didn't expect the turn like this at all...

Thanks again for your support 💐

Anniegetyourgun Wed 22-Mar-17 21:20:32

I think sometimes a thing (anything - a song, a picture, a phrase randomly heard, or in this case seeing your ex's profile unexpectedly) can pitch you back in time and reawaken emotions you'd thought were well buried. It's temporary though. You had very strong feelings at the time and now you've been reminded of both the good, which you miss, and the bad, which you regret. It's not weird to drop a few tears. Hopefully tomorrow you'll be able to put it back behind you where it belongs. Forward to the future, not back to the past.

That reads a bit... pretentious, sorry. I mean it though. flowers

pocketsaviour Wed 22-Mar-17 21:22:52

I remember lovey.

You are you, and he is he.

You are worth more than he was willing to give.

Inexperiencedchick Wed 22-Mar-17 21:24:25

Thank you Annie 💐

BigGreenOlives Wed 22-Mar-17 21:30:17

Karma is horrible.

In Cambodia they believe in karma so when someone is injured by a Landmine the assumption is that they did something bad in a previous life. People are cast out from their homes when they need them most.

When we went to Siem Reep we were invited to watch performances by people who had been injured, we paid a lot as most businesses will not employ them. The hope is that by seeing their dances & poetry be praised & rewarded they will be able to support themselves & be accepted again by their families.

The sight of a legless, armless, or blind man, woman, or child””there are estimated to be 40,000, giving Cambodia one of the highest disability rates in the world””draws little attention in a country long inured to suffering. The nation's dominant religion, Buddhism, adds another bitter layer to the fate of land-mine survivors. Cambodians regard severe injuries and congenital defects as karmic recompense for bad behaviour in a former life. They are shunned by society, mocked with the epithet kambot””an offensive term for someone without limbs””and often doomed to homelessness and begging. In an ironic twist, beggars are treated respectfully, as giving them food and money garners the giver karmic merit and less suffering in the next life. Government attempts to denounce this superstition are token, at best, and include large signs posted about the country declaring, “Disabilities are not a sin.”

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