XH never came to DD baby checkups (he left 2 days before she was born) or engage with her at all. DS was 2.5 yeatd at the time and he was adamant to get 50/50 and overnights right away for DS but didn't really care much for DD.
18 months later, schedule is progressing and they go every second weekend, 2 weekdays/1 overnight.
XH broke with OW and has a new girlfriend. He has introduced her to the kids and left DS alone with her but had not found worth of mentioning to me she even exists. I would like to have a simple "hi"/10 minutes conversation with her if she is going to be around my DC but I don't know how to bring it up since he has not said a word about her.
The other issue I have that makes me really angry is that he puts the girlfriend before the kids. One day I was caught in the office/transit and I called to let him know I would be 30 minutes late. When I got home and called him, XH told me that the DC were at his friends house and I needed to go get them. I don't drive, XH's friend doesn't live in the subway line, it is a 45 minutes walk one way, winter time (below 0ºC) and 8:30pm. To be fair, his friend has 2 babies himself, and it was bedtime...Anyway, I was furious he drop the DC off at a friends house because "he was going out" and could not postpone for half an hour when I had called to let him know.
The second situation comes with Easter. He has been bothering me to get a holiday schedule for Easter for 2 weeks because he wsnts extra time with the kids on holidays. There are only 2 days when daycare is closed and one if this days the kids will be with me and the second day shared according to regular schedule so I proposed one day each. Now, he has planned a getaway with the girlfriend and he wantd me to take the kids both days and the overnight before plus the overnight after so he can have a week for himself. I am really pissed that he tries to be dad of the year and then he does this. Kids are 4 and 1.5. He really has ple ty of time for himself as I am the default parent. I do all daycare dropoffs (2 non accessible subway stations away), make the doctor appointments, have to take the fay off when they are sick, ... and then I need to hear that he deserves 50/50 when he alwayd puts himself first.
So I guess my questions are:
- How to manage been hurt and angry becaude of this behaviour?
- AIBU if I say that I don't want to switch days but will gladly take the kids for the full week? (he won't get days in exchange)
- How do I bring up meeting the girlfriend? Or should I even try? (she is staying overnight when the kids are there and DS has been left alone with her).