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Am I going off my partner?

(5 Posts)
aquamarina81 Tue 21-Mar-17 13:18:32

I have been with my partner for over 10 years but have only recently bought a house and started living together. I am not sure if it is the change in my life i.e. moving in together as well as my having to effectively start again from scratch career wise at 40 but I just feel very flat.

My relationship with my partner is good, he loves me, treats me well, our sex life is really good but I still feel like I want something more? Its hard to explain I feel an emptiness at times when we are eating dinner or watching TV in the evening.

There is nobody elses at all and I am hoping that these feelings are only temporary due to how my life is changing and due to the fact that I am not currently very happy in my work life and that I am somehow projecting that on to my partner.

I just hate that I am feeling like this and focusing on his flaws. I am so worried I am going off him.

Does it sound like I am, can this be fixed?

FaFoutis Tue 21-Mar-17 13:21:16

It sounds like you need something else in your life. A relationship can't fulfil all your needs, that's expecting far too much of it.

aquamarina81 Tue 21-Mar-17 13:25:19

I know I need to be able to focus on my work, I'm basically pre-career change and just focusing on finishing up the work on our house at the moment as it needed to be completely renovated when we got it. I think once I have the time to do my work and perhaps some time for excerise and reading I will feel better but at the moment I feel very adrift!

ImperialBlether Tue 21-Mar-17 16:05:05

That must be really tough having to cope with starting with a new career. Is he good at talking things through with you? Do you get a chance to be on your own?

Why did you leave it so long before moving in together?

aquamarina81 Tue 21-Mar-17 16:17:50

Its daunting and I wonder if I can really make anything of it or if I am just kidding myself on but I have put myself in this situation now so I just need to keep going with it!

We didn't live together sooner because both our jobs took us away from home a lot and at various points in the past 10 years we lived in different cities and even different countries. We both had to make changes to be able to live together in the same place really. I have wanted this for a long time, to have one place to live and feel settled but now that I am it feels odd and empty.

I do get time to be on my own during the day but every evening we spend together. Where I used to stay up late watching movies or reading I now go to sleep with him at 11pm which is still weird for me as my natural state is night owl and I used to enjoy the time between 11pm and 2am but it does make sense for me to get into a better routine of getting up early.

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