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Anyone familiar with non mol orders?

(10 Posts)
Dawndonnaagain Mon 20-Mar-17 19:29:59

He is harassing dd (20 but with an ASC and very fragile) again and being nasty about me. He's posting what he's listening to on face ache, songs with nasty lyrics clearly directed at me, and knows that I will know what they are when the dc tell me what he's posting. I know the non mol includes social media, but it's not a direct attack so don't know if I can do anything.
Help appreciated.
Please don't say block, she doesn't feel she can yet.
Thank you.

Note3 Mon 20-Mar-17 19:36:42

A non mol order generally will prohibit specifics such as not going to a certain road or place. With contact it generally states not to contact directly or indirectly. This needs to be provable so unless he was writing posts on FB saying 'tell such and such they need to watch themselves' then it wouldn't cover FB. As annoying as it subsequently is for you he is entitled to post things that show he's hacked off/doesn't like you so long as it's not a provable indirect msg or a threat

BonnyScotland Mon 20-Mar-17 19:41:05

I'm sorry to read this... and by not blocking she is tormenting herself .. try and encourage her to block and seek the positives ignoring all the negatives ... sending hugs flowers

Dawndonnaagain Tue 21-Mar-17 09:41:56

Thank you. Not annoying so much as hurtful. I am constantly surprised at the level of vitriol aimed at me, although don't know why I should be, I lived with it for years. I suppose because it's public, only it isn't is it.

With regard to dd, I've said before she's in a horrible situation whereby she hates him for what he's done to us and loves him because he's her dad. She'll get there when she's ready.

BonnyScotland Tue 21-Mar-17 13:47:48

aahhh okay... this is very difficult... I understand the conflict she enduring... unfortunately then... simply blocking will not help ... maybe she might consider placing a 'restriction' on his posts .. allowing her the access to him online but she won't see his constant updates in her Feed... and he would be none the wiser...

I hope she's ok OP flowers

Dawndonnaagain Tue 21-Mar-17 15:49:55

Thank you Bonny, we'll get there. It's the texting that's getting to her, she asks him not to and he doesn't for a week and then it becomes relentless again. Not sure if I'm allowed to say anything or not, I assume the order works both ways, but no idea if that's right. Don't particularly want to engage with him at all, just want to say look, ease up, she'll contact you when ready. She's been in hospital more than once due in the main to his behaviour, and I don't want her pushed that far again.

BonnyScotland Tue 21-Mar-17 16:38:13

your right to remain cautious... sadly he sounds like the Child whilst taking no responsibility for any of his erratic actions... or cares that those actions create negative complex re-actions in his daughter ...

I hope she is able to stay strong and positive x

donners312 Tue 21-Mar-17 19:23:49

My ex does this as well and sends awful messages to my DD.

I was on the brink of seriously letting him have it but i posted on here and was reminded that if i engage with him you are back to sq 1 again - so best to grey rock and they will get bored!. Eventually!!

Sympathy to you and your DD.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 23-Mar-17 17:15:22

Today I have had a letter from his solicitors.
On Friday, I changed some passwords as someone had been accessing my emails. No idea who. So, changed a load. Went on messenger on phone and it offered me a list of people to add and I blithely ticked a load, not realising until it was too late that one was him. So uninstalled and re-installed the app and had a moan about how damned stupid I'd been to dd. As I say, this was on Friday.
All of the above happened on Monday.
On Tuesday he contacted his solicitor to say I'd been trying to message him, all because he was annoyed that dd had stood up to him. There's always a bloody punishment isn't there. I don't want any contact, I'm terrified of him, he's so manipulative and I just shut down when he starts because I don't know what's safe to do and what isn't. It's crazy, he's been gone just over six months and he's still in control. Done nothing but bloody cry all afternoon.
Sorry, feeling sorry for myself and wishing it was all done and dusted and I was far, far away from him.

BonnyScotland Thu 23-Mar-17 18:47:10

he's a pathetic cringing bully x

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