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He is still controling me isnt he :(

(10 Posts)
Whattodowhattodo22 Mon 20-Mar-17 10:14:20

I spilt from my ex 3 months ago he was nasty to my 3 kids from a previous relationship we have one DC together who he sees split with me, I have been civil with him but our "friendship" has been getting better over the past 2 weeks I have helped him out financially and support wise I know I shouldn't have but it is done now nothing intimate has happened fast forward to last night my friend was here and I was actually having a laugh and because I didn't text him back for 2 hours he went mental at me shouting down the phone I put it down twice but caved and answered it again to him he told me today is his last day cause he won't be here anymore I don't care never have done he keeps trying to force me to say I still love him and was saying you know I have changed you know you want me back which I told him I don't and have told him this over again I don't know why I am writing this down but I need to vent somewhere I am on pills for anxiety never in my life have I had anxiety I just can't seem to cope as well as I know I can sad X sorry for typos and rambling xx

Costacoffeeplease Mon 20-Mar-17 10:31:17

Why are you having so much contact with him - emails about child contact and that's it, don't get drawn into any other discussions

gamerchick Mon 20-Mar-17 10:35:07

Yeah time to go to essential contact only. Don't engage with anything else, just ignore it.

If he's coming across as mentally unstable you probably should seek advice on contact with your child.

Whattodowhattodo22 Mon 20-Mar-17 10:35:19

He keeps drawing me in I don't want my DC to grow up without a dad and he keeps saying he is going to end it I just need to step right back from him but he knows how to get to me x

tribpot Mon 20-Mar-17 10:37:08

So he's threatening to walk and never contact you again? Fine. No need to appease or beg. It's up to him to maintain a relationship with your shared dc, but beyond that you need have no further contact with him. Contact re: access can be done via a third party.

His behaviour is so not normal it's off the charts. It was very unlikely you could have had a cordial co-parenting relationship with a controller; now you know for sure. Block him as far as you can and certainly do not provide any support to him, financial or otherwise.

jeaux90 Mon 20-Mar-17 10:37:15

Yep what Costa said.

Do not talk to him. Do not respond to any texts that aren't about childcare.

And yes he is still controlling you but look he has conditioned you to behave that way. Don't beat yourself up just start doing it differently.

Optional here but you might want to tell him that you are no longer a couple, you are not ever going to be a couple and from now on the only communication on your part will be about your DC.

Steal yourself as it's hard when you first start but it's the right way forward for you x

gamerchick Mon 20-Mar-17 10:38:01

Ignore it! If you get the 'I've took an overdose' bollocks send the police to do a welfare check.

Do not engage with him.

NowtAbout Mon 20-Mar-17 10:40:39

Look for a freedom programme happening near you. They really helped sort my friend out who is in a similar position last year. they help to see that her ex was the problem and how to handle it better.

jeaux90 Mon 20-Mar-17 13:18:32

Gamer chick good point. Ignore the suicide threats. Golden oldie grin

Notmyrealname85 Mon 20-Mar-17 13:21:12

Sounds like you're having a rough time of it flowers

Is there a third party who can step in for you, a go-between so the two of you don't need to communicate to each other direct?

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