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What would you do if your husband said this..

(89 Posts)
dyinginside Mon 20-Mar-17 06:50:16

Son asking for a lift , husband moaning about it, son says " I'll be giving lifts to you when you're too old to drive"
I say to husband " don't be ridiculous it'll only take you ten minutes"
Husband then says to me when son out of the room " the only place he'll be driving me is to your grave so I can piss all over it" and then made a peeing motion
This was a few days ago, I think it's the final nail in the coffin for me

Theworldisfullofidiots Mon 20-Mar-17 06:51:38

Terrible thing to say. Final nail you say?

fabulousfun Mon 20-Mar-17 06:52:08

How horrible.....this would definitely be a nail in the coffin moment. Do you have a plan? 💐

Thebookswereherfriends Mon 20-Mar-17 06:53:06

Wow! Not something I would expect from someone supposed to love me.

Chocolatecake12 Mon 20-Mar-17 06:54:10

That's a really horrible thing to say.
Did you reply?
What is your plan moving forward?

Wellysocksbox Mon 20-Mar-17 07:01:20

Sometimes, in a relationship, you put up with a load of shit and then they do one thing which crosses the line and there's no turning back. This could be that one thing. Definitely LTB. It's better to be single than to live with someone who has so little respect for anyone else flowers

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Mon 20-Mar-17 07:01:45

I would be making plans to divorce. . Sounds like the last straw for you op..
flowers

HecateAntaia Mon 20-Mar-17 07:03:17

given you say it is the final nail in the coffin, which suggests you have been subjected to a hell of a lot of this - i'd make arrangements to leave.

AnyFucker Mon 20-Mar-17 07:04:58

I'd think that any respect or care for me had long left the building. I'd think there was no point in remaining married.

PlumsGalore Mon 20-Mar-17 07:06:56

What a vile thing to say. I would have first retorted that he would likely be dead before me then I would have made arrangements to part company. If he considers thus an ok thing to say because you asked him to give his son a lift then he deserves to be on his own.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach Mon 20-Mar-17 07:07:20

Wow OP. There are no words to describe the awfulness of that comment. Please get out of there! I can't imagine spending my life with someone who felt like that about me!!

Goforit2017 Mon 20-Mar-17 07:08:32

That is disgusting and I don't think there is any way back from it.

dyinginside Mon 20-Mar-17 07:11:16

He's not generally abusive, marriage has been dying a slow death for some time and we do sometimes snipe at each other
I can often be worse than him, I'm no shrinking violet, but this seemed different, I don't know why, I was shocked and very little shocks me

supercue Mon 20-Mar-17 07:11:25

What a lovely turn of phrase he has. Time to call it a day I think.

kinter Mon 20-Mar-17 07:11:54

I'm sorry you had to experience this, OP. It does look like a last straw moment.

Except...
Could you have given your son the lift? Just wondering why he asked his moaner dad and not you.
How old is the son? Is he old enough to be really getting himself around on buses, bicycle or foot?
Did he get the lift in the end?

Joysmum Mon 20-Mar-17 07:12:49

Absolutely disgraceful reaction to you calling him ridiculous.

It reads like you did in front of you son and if so was undermining. If so I'd be angry too if my DH undermined me in front of our DD but doesn't excuse his strong reaction.

NormaSmuff Mon 20-Mar-17 07:13:24

Do you not drive op?

sounds just like an argument tbh
ok not very nice and as you say marriage is dying a slow death.

Goforit2017 Mon 20-Mar-17 07:14:23

I dont think the context matters.

That's not something most people would ever say or even think.

Iris65 Mon 20-Mar-17 07:17:11

Horrible.

CaoNiMartacus Mon 20-Mar-17 07:18:40

Absolutely disgusting. Get rid.

JustSpeakSense Mon 20-Mar-17 07:19:45

What a horrible thing to hear from someone supposed to love and cherish you flowers

cordeliavorkosigan Mon 20-Mar-17 07:20:38

I think it shows contempt for you, and goes well beyond normal sniping. Contempt is apparently a major sign that things are really not good. Sorry op, that really sucks.

Crumbs1 Mon 20-Mar-17 07:21:34

Actually sounds like you were undermining him. Not a pleasant thing to say but sufficient to divorce over? Really? Maybe he feels like a taxi driver to the boy and felt he should walk. Either way parents should be supportive of each other over children.

TattyCat Mon 20-Mar-17 07:23:29

Life really is too short to spend it with someone who has so little respect for you and actually dislikes you. I think it's so sad that people who once probably loved each other get to the point that a comment like that is even thought of, let alone spoken.

Better to be alone than be hated it your own home - it should be your sanctuary. I'd leave.

dyinginside Mon 20-Mar-17 07:23:43

I don't drive, had loads of lessons but I'm rubbish at it, too nervous
Been married twenty odd years , this has killed any last vestige of feelings I had towards him , albeit of just friendship
My own behaviour is bad too, just in the interests of fairness, we rub along ok most of the time but I can't get over this
If he came home and told me he was having an affair I would be delighted and want to shake her hand

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