Narcissistic Mil

[Gladiator2017]

I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with my nascissistic mil. I have to see her every day as we live beside each other & I work with her husband, my fil & she spends a bit of time every day where we work. She is a nightmare, is a vindictive, horrible person. We had a big argument in the past few weeks & I now want nothing more to do with her. I am hoping to do like a work to rule so I will answer questions if she directs them at me but I will not start any conversation with her. I am also never going to go to her house again, prior to the argument I would probably call into her house 3-4 times a week. She is not welcome in my house anymore, I have been locking my door as she would usually just walk in without being invited. I will allow my husband to bring our children to see her in her house but supervised by him if she asks. It's going to be difficult as we see each other so much but I really want as little to do with this woman as possible. Any advice? There's no point in trying to have a rational discussion with her about her poor behaviour as she never acknowledges when she has done or said anything inappropriately.

[Sylvannas]

It sounds like you've got everything well in hand. Limiting contact to a bare bones minimum for yourself.

The only thing I'd add is make sure DH supports you fully with that decision and doesn't let MIL poison him against you with the "poor me, what did I do?" attitude that we know and love with narcissists.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Hi Gladiator,

re your comment:-
"I will allow my husband to bring our children to see her in her house but supervised by him if she asks"

I would not do this; your children do not need to be further subjected to his mother's manipulations as she will simply use them as narcissistic supply. Who knows what she could well say to them about you in your absence; the damage will be done right in front of his very eyes. She will simply harm your children in not too dissimilar ways as to how your DH has been emotionally harmed and he seems steeped in FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) with regards to his mother. He can maintain a relationship with her if he wants to but it does not follow that your children or you need to.