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Can I ask what you would do?

(375 Posts)
sharksscareme Sun 19-Mar-17 09:36:02

If you discovered your husband had been sending stupid texts? Not explicit at all, but definitely flirty, to a teenage girl. He claims she was low in confidence and he was just trying to cheer her up.

KinkyAfro Sun 19-Mar-17 09:36:55

Fuck him right off

Fruitcocktail6 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:37:22

I would be fuming and disgusted. How old is she and how does he know her?

pinkyredrose Sun 19-Mar-17 09:38:54

What did the texts say and how old is the girl? How did he meet her?

sharksscareme Sun 19-Mar-17 09:39:06

She was doing work experience at his company. She's 17.

Isthismummy Sun 19-Mar-17 09:39:28

Trying to cheer her up?? Ugh, ugh, ugh. I would think he was a disgusting sleaze and kick him out.

What do you want to do though op?

How old is your not so dear h?

iremembericod Sun 19-Mar-17 09:40:34

I'd think he was a dirty pervert and hope I had the strength to ditch him

Isthismummy Sun 19-Mar-17 09:40:37

He sent flirty texts to a really young girl doing her work experience?

Bloody hell op. He'd have to go. Sorrysad

Goforit2017 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:40:50

I would call him everything and throw him out.

I did experience exactly this with an ex. It was so embarrassing and I could never forgive him even though he begged and pleaded and tried to play it down. Fortunately the girl involved handled it brilliantly and asked him where his boundaries were but if she was more immature or vulnerable I dread to think what could have happened.

Rainbowqueeen Sun 19-Mar-17 09:40:56

I'd seriously question his judgement! What would happen next would depend on his reaction to me being upset.

Honestly not sure if I would be able to recover from this.
flowers for you. Don't let him minimise, demand complete honesty and think really hard about what You want

sharksscareme Sun 19-Mar-17 09:41:04

41, hardly in the first flush of his twenties. Old enough to be her dad hmm

ClemDanfango Sun 19-Mar-17 09:41:25

Yuck, nope he'd be out on his arse.

KinkyAfro Sun 19-Mar-17 09:42:33

Can you give an example of the texts?

sharksscareme Sun 19-Mar-17 09:44:23

Things like "you will look fit in that babe" when she showed him a photo of clothes she'd bought. And "lucky me cruising to work with a fit babe by my side" (he'd bought a new car.)

BakeOffBiscuits Sun 19-Mar-17 09:46:36

I'd say he's a perverted creep.

And if I was the parent of the 17 year old, I woudl be reporting your H to the school, his bosses, etc etc.

pinkyredrose Sun 19-Mar-17 09:46:41

That's massively inappropriate of him. What response was he expecting?!

PhoenixJasmine Sun 19-Mar-17 09:46:46

I'd be having a very serious conversation about how inappropriate it was. Possibly criminal if he suggested meeting up and she is under 16, that could be construed as child grooming under the sexual offences act I think.

Questions for me would be, why does he think it's his job to cheer her up? Why does he think flirting with her will do that or is even an acceptable thing to do? Would he flirt with adult women if he thought they needing cheering up? Can he see how flirting with other people could affect his relationship with you? Would he send these messages if he knew you would see them? Has he kept this a secret from you and if so why? What does he think the girl's parents would think of him approaching their teenage daughter in this way?

There'd be few answers that I'd find acceptable and this would give me serious doubts as to continuing with the marriage. He'd need to do a lot of work to win me back I think.

Isthismummy Sun 19-Mar-17 09:46:50

He'd be divorced for the use of the term "fit babe" as much as anything else.

I'm disgusted on your behalf op. What are you going to do?

winkywinkola Sun 19-Mar-17 09:46:58

He's an older guy talking like that to a young girl? Very disappointing.

Sounds like a real loser thinking he's a king when a 17 year old girl is flattered by his attentions.

sharksscareme Sun 19-Mar-17 09:48:15

Hot babe in my car sorry. Fit was relating to the clothes. Not that it matters. I don't know. Part of me feels as you do. Disgusted. Shocked. A big part. But another part recognises they aren't actually explicit in any way, I don't know.

sharksscareme Sun 19-Mar-17 09:48:40

And yeah. I think he was very VERY flattered by such a young girl obviously adoring him.

Annesmyth123 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:50:35

Since he's in a position of responsibility over her he's in deep shit. That smells like grooming to me. www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/grooming/

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_Offences_(Amendment)_Act_2000 Sexual activity with a young person when in a position of trust.

Either way, I'd be kicking him out.

sharksscareme Sun 19-Mar-17 09:51:26

Just be be clear Anne there was no sexual activity, at all. That's on a whole other level. I am not justifying him but he did not touch her, or her him.

stitchglitched Sun 19-Mar-17 09:51:29

He's a sleazy creep abusing a position of trust. I would be disgusted and he'd be out the door.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sun 19-Mar-17 09:53:11

He did not touch her
Yet......
Ltb.

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