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Been on my own for 19 years. Need advice...

(85 Posts)
PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 14:44:53

I have been on my own 19 years now... I live in a remote part of the Country. I have tried online dating sites, joined clubs, walking in the countryside (safe here). Joined local fb groups. Trouble is there are no men and when they are no interest from my or their side. My Son has his own Family now and my family member. Sometimes it doesn't bother me and I go from day to day quite laid back and happy. I have tried everything and looked at situations from different angles. I have been actively looking then not for long stetches. It doesn't enter my mind. Any tips... part of me is still hoping. Thanx.

FizzyJapes Sat 18-Mar-17 15:17:50

Unfortunately OP you probably won't get many immediate replies on your question, as its not "exciting" as some dilemmas on MN sad. But I have some understanding of where you're coming from, so will try and be back later today or tomorrow ...

Thanksforasking Sat 18-Mar-17 15:20:59

Would you think of moving somewhere more in the thick of things?

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 15:24:17

Thank you 💕

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 15:26:31


Wouldn't be able too for various reasons...

noego Sat 18-Mar-17 16:20:37

If there are no eligible men in your area and you do not want to relocate then the only option is OLD and maybe forge a LDR.

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 16:35:58

noego.... hi tried dating sites one stood me up. And rest were either married, open relationship or degrading to females.

happypoobum Sat 18-Mar-17 16:41:03

The dating site you tried - was it a free one? Might you have better luck if you pay for a more quality type service? Fewer married men and tosspots perhaps?

Do you meet men through your work? Could you change your job? Retrain? Do a course at a local FE college? Voluntary work?

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 16:44:57

I tried eharmony for 3 mths. No luck or no replies no interest shown. Rest were free sites. I am back studying at moment. No men that way... I try to take part in lots of local activities but same film at each. But I still go.

INeedNewShoes Sat 18-Mar-17 16:45:07

Just to say I would never encourage anyone to relocate in the hope of finding a partner! I lived in London for nearly ten years, Paris for a year, a northern city for four years and now I live in the countryside. My singleness has very little to do with where I live. I'm quite content as I am but if I did want to meet someone I would not uproot my entire life on the off-chance of a different location making a difference.

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 16:45:29


PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 16:49:15

I uprooted twice! Never again! Generally speaking fairly happy. And I know being Single has lots of pluses. Go to bed when I want etc. But no family here. Parents died. Other Family settled else where... just a companion really. Lol I sound old!

pallasathena Sat 18-Mar-17 17:03:20

A good friend of mine found the Guardian and Times lonely hearts ads useful for meeting people.

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 17:09:54


I have been put off dating sites by my experiences but I will make a mental notice about The Guardian. Thank you

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 17:10:26


BusyHomemaker Sat 18-Mar-17 17:38:05

How active are you in your community? Are you a member of any clubs? Have you told your friends you're interested in meeting someone? Have you told your son? Maybe they could set you up with dates?

Perhaps go abroad alone, either alone alone or with a company that caters for single people.

Perhaps you could organise some singles events in your area, or approach a company who might be interested in doing so.

Whatever you do, don't give up hope if that's what you want out of life flowers

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 17:53:32

I suggested it on one of the local fb community groups. They dismissed it. Couldn't afford to go abroad. Tho I will be going later this year with my Sister and her Family.

MimsyFluff Sat 18-Mar-17 18:16:45

Are there any evening classes nearby? I went to a few classes years ago and was a nice mix and I made 2 good friends that i still talk to.

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 18:33:32

There is a learning centre here with lots of classes. I go on 2 days. None in the evening. But no one. I have tried everything. But I still don't to give up

EmmaC78 Sat 18-Mar-17 18:38:22

Could you try a dating agency and see if they could match you up with anyone suitable. It might work better than a website.

Have you any friends who could introduce you into their circle of friends to see if there is anyone suitable?

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 18:54:19

Hi no friends in that opposition everyone married for years. I have asked lol... but dating agencies at the moment I have gone off. As not nice experiences really. Felt to come here as my Sister loved this Site

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 18:54:58

To try here for advice**

EmmaC78 Sat 18-Mar-17 19:00:46

Is there somewhere you could go speed dating in your local area? I know a few people that have met decent people there.

PositiveThinking1234 Sat 18-Mar-17 19:13:14

I would love too. Did that years ago with my Friend she wanted to leave early 😕 Haven't heard of any up here for years tho

FizzyJapes Sat 18-Mar-17 20:20:05

Glad you got more feedback, OP. I am in a slightly similar postion - not probably as remote as your area sounds but not a metropolis with lots of "options". I think whats best for me at the moment is to pursue all aspects of my life IYKWIM, as far as I can (health problems apart). If I feel like trying to pursue romantic possibilities, I will. But its not the only thing and a full and happy life is not dependant on that, far from it! smile. Long distance dating is one way to go as previous poster mentioned ... I have realised I may need to travel up to an hour to meet someone at my age (50s), something rightly or wrongly I would never have entertained at a younger age.

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