Slept with someone last night and regret it

[Emma98]

I'm single and 13 weeks pregnant I work in a pub and have been chatting to one of the regulars for a few weeks. Anyway to cut a long story short after work last night he came back to mine and we ended up sleeping together. When I've woken up this morning he has gone. I text him and haven't had a reply yet. So I'm guessing he was just after one thing and now he has had it he's not interested.

Now I just think I'm stupid for thinking it was anything more serious and totally regret it

[SookiesSocks]

I am sorry. Its a shit feeling but try not to dwell on it.

[Emma98]

I know it's not the first time but it is the first person I slept with since finding out I was pregnant and that was a big deal to me but I suppose it is my issue not his. Still doesn't make me feel better

[Deadsouls]

Did he know you were pregnant? And are you keeping the pregnancy? I'm guessing it's important as it's the first thing you mention.

[TheoriginalLEM]

been there done that! its crap isn't it.

i hope you used protection though.

Just be kind to yourself, nice bath, treat yourself to something nice and go back to work with your head held high.

[Emma98]

Yes I'm keeping the baby and I'm excited for it. But no I didn't tell him I was pregnant I've still only told family and close friends and not told anyone at work yet

[Emma98]

Theoriginal thanks I know you're right I'm really not looking forward to bumping into him

[NoLotteryWinYet]

Yes I wouldn't internalise it - you thought he was a nicer person than he's turned out to be, that doesn't make you stupid when you expect people not to behave in shabby ways. Agree with LEM, forget about it.

[Emma98]

Shurley thanks for the reply I know what your saying makes sense it's just a difficult time. I'm off to my mums today but don't really want to tell her about it

[Emma98]

Thanks lottery

[bluefeathers]

Hey I'm so sorry to hear that. Men can be such shits sometimes...

I was single for quite some time (now married) and so many men would put the charm on and even make me think they were in love with me when they just wanted sex. It can be very hurtful.

I wised up as I was sick of being hurt and decided if I met a man I thought could have long term potential then I'd make them work for it... In fact I didn't sleep with my now husband for months. I made him chase me and enjoyed the attention and flirting but also got to know him; along the way we established a strong friendship and when we finally made out, I knew he was madly in love with me already.

Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with a bit of fun and I chose to have flings when I knew there was no long term potential - but be clear what you want. If I had slept with my husband the first time he tried, we both agree it would have been a flash in the pan.

Perhaps this guy was a bit of fun and something to giggle about when you are a granny... but it doesn't sound like he's a keeper.
X

[SleepingTiger]

Do you think he may have realised you are pregnant?

[Emma98]

Not sure Tiger because of my weight I'm not showing yet so I don't know why he would guess

[thisagain]

Just put it down to a lesson learned. If you sleep with someone so easily then there is no guarantee of a commitment from them. So now know you don't want to be that person and that is a positive thing. Try not to waste time worrying about it. You did nothing wrong, just that it wasn't right for you. x

[SleepingTiger]

I only mention it because it feels different (or can do) when a woman is and he might have noticed.

Or he might not of course.

[Emma98]

Thanks thisagain I know it's probably my issue not his but doesn't help how I feel

[Emma98]

It's possible Tiger but why would he not just say something rather than run off and ignore my message

[SleepingTiger]

Because some people are weak of character.

If he is not back with a bag of bagels and a latte in the next 20 minutes then put it down to that.

[BusterGonad]

Maybe he realized your were pregnant and got in a panic and decided the whole pregnant girlfriend thing wasn't for him. Especially the child not being his. There's many reasons why he wouldn't want a part of it, but maybe like you said he had see a buggered off.

[BusterGonad]

Had sex... sorry.

[CircleofWillis]

Unlikely he could have realised you were pregnant at 13 weeks if he hadn't been intimately involved with your body beforehand.

[Emma98]

Who knows maybe I can ask him if he is in when I'm at work tonight - just to make it more awkward

[Emma98]

He definitely hasn't been intimately involved before lol

[MrsMozart]

I think you'll just have to give yourself a wee time to feel shit, as that's how you feel, and then accept it's been and done and move on from it.

[NoLotteryWinYet]

TThe only lesson I'd take is that people can act shittily sometimes, and it's better to get to know people better over a stretch of time as you have a longer window to figure out their personality. It's stilll then being a rat though. I probably wouldn't tell my mum as she doesn't need to know! Unless she's going to offer reassurance.