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Slept with someone last night and regret it

(255 Posts)
Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 06:56:09

I'm single and 13 weeks pregnant I work in a pub and have been chatting to one of the regulars for a few weeks. Anyway to cut a long story short after work last night he came back to mine and we ended up sleeping together. When I've woken up this morning he has gone. I text him and haven't had a reply yet. So I'm guessing he was just after one thing and now he has had it he's not interested.

Now I just think I'm stupid for thinking it was anything more serious and totally regret it

SookiesSocks Sat 18-Mar-17 07:03:18

I am sorry. Its a shit feeling but try not to dwell on it.

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:05:58

I know it's not the first time but it is the first person I slept with since finding out I was pregnant and that was a big deal to me but I suppose it is my issue not his. Still doesn't make me feel better

Deadsouls Sat 18-Mar-17 07:06:10

Did he know you were pregnant? And are you keeping the pregnancy? I'm guessing it's important as it's the first thing you mention.

TheoriginalLEM Sat 18-Mar-17 07:06:52

been there done that! its crap isn't it.

i hope you used protection though.

Just be kind to yourself, nice bath, treat yourself to something nice and go back to work with your head held high.

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:07:44

Yes I'm keeping the baby and I'm excited for it. But no I didn't tell him I was pregnant I've still only told family and close friends and not told anyone at work yet

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:08:58

Theoriginal thanks I know you're right I'm really not looking forward to bumping into him

Shurleyshummishtake Sat 18-Mar-17 07:11:48

Emma you are especially vulnerable when you are pregnant both emotionallly and physically

If you didn't use a condom (and maybe even if you did) you should have a STI screen

I'm sorry he has behaved badly but then perhaps a one night stand never actually promises the possibility of a deeper attatchement and he has in effect done nothing wrong? (Shitty to leave without speaking tho whatever the case)

Use it to your advantage, move forwards and focus on you and your baby and building up your resilience and sense of self.

This baby will be all consuming fairly soon and it can be a tricky time to start a new relationship with someone who isn't the father of the baby so it does need to be someone pretty special and he is unlikely to be found on a one night stand realistically.

Have you got friends you can hang out with today to cheer you up a bit?

NoLotteryWinYet Sat 18-Mar-17 07:15:05

Yes I wouldn't internalise it - you thought he was a nicer person than he's turned out to be, that doesn't make you stupid when you expect people not to behave in shabby ways. Agree with LEM, forget about it.

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:15:07

Shurley thanks for the reply I know what your saying makes sense it's just a difficult time. I'm off to my mums today but don't really want to tell her about it

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:16:10

Thanks lottery

bluefeathers Sat 18-Mar-17 07:18:55

Hey I'm so sorry to hear that. Men can be such shits sometimes...

I was single for quite some time (now married) and so many men would put the charm on and even make me think they were in love with me when they just wanted sex. It can be very hurtful.

I wised up as I was sick of being hurt and decided if I met a man I thought could have long term potential then I'd make them work for it... In fact I didn't sleep with my now husband for months. I made him chase me and enjoyed the attention and flirting but also got to know him; along the way we established a strong friendship and when we finally made out, I knew he was madly in love with me already.

Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with a bit of fun and I chose to have flings when I knew there was no long term potential - but be clear what you want. If I had slept with my husband the first time he tried, we both agree it would have been a flash in the pan.

Perhaps this guy was a bit of fun and something to giggle about when you are a granny... but it doesn't sound like he's a keeper.
X

SleepingTiger Sat 18-Mar-17 07:20:36

Do you think he may have realised you are pregnant?

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:23:04

Not sure Tiger because of my weight I'm not showing yet so I don't know why he would guess

thisagain Sat 18-Mar-17 07:24:45

Just put it down to a lesson learned. If you sleep with someone so easily then there is no guarantee of a commitment from them. So now know you don't want to be that person and that is a positive thing. Try not to waste time worrying about it. You did nothing wrong, just that it wasn't right for you. x

SleepingTiger Sat 18-Mar-17 07:25:18

I only mention it because it feels different (or can do) when a woman is and he might have noticed.

Or he might not of course.

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:28:59

Thanks thisagain I know it's probably my issue not his but doesn't help how I feel

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:29:39

It's possible Tiger but why would he not just say something rather than run off and ignore my message

SleepingTiger Sat 18-Mar-17 07:33:24

Because some people are weak of character.

If he is not back with a bag of bagels and a latte in the next 20 minutes then put it down to that.

BusterGonad Sat 18-Mar-17 07:34:16

Maybe he realized your were pregnant and got in a panic and decided the whole pregnant girlfriend thing wasn't for him. Especially the child not being his. There's many reasons why he wouldn't want a part of it, but maybe like you said he had see a buggered off.

BusterGonad Sat 18-Mar-17 07:35:00

Had sex... sorry.

CircleofWillis Sat 18-Mar-17 07:38:39

Unlikely he could have realised you were pregnant at 13 weeks if he hadn't been intimately involved with your body beforehand.

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:39:06

Who knows maybe I can ask him if he is in when I'm at work tonight - just to make it more awkward

Emma98 Sat 18-Mar-17 07:39:47

He definitely hasn't been intimately involved before lol

MrsMozart Sat 18-Mar-17 07:39:55

I think you'll just have to give yourself a wee time to feel shit, as that's how you feel, and then accept it's been and done and move on from it.

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