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i am tired of his anger, is it me or him the problem, please help

66 replies

at37 · 18/03/2017 04:03

Hello. I have been in two relationships in my life both lasted 10 years each. This is my third one and counts one year so far. This person is nothing like i knew before and thats why is so confusing for me to understand. He can be sweet and caring one minute and get a fit of anger the next . When this happens is like he is changing to someone i dont know, he constantly insults and pulls down and threatens and he needs time to calm down. While in that state anything i say is wrong and gets him more angry. I decided not to talk but he finds this is wrong too because "i block him out" so i have no idea how to act. Tonight he had some issues at work and i tried to support him, listen to him and offer advice to the best i can with my experience. It seemed that he wasnt listening so i said that if is any way i can help he can let me know. His reply was that i try my best and even if i dont offer anything good he can see that i try. Later he carried on ignoring me talking so i stopped and was waiting to watch a movie with him. He asked what was wrong and i said nothing , but he can be rude sometimes.That was enought to set him off. He went into a fit of anger constantly insulting me . Among other things he said that he has no idea how other people come to me for help, that he can not rely on me, that he wishes i was a normal gf that listens, that i have delusions that i am a good person but i am not because ei clearly dont care about him etc etc. I kept quiet but i said that have no idea where all comes from as the only thing that happened is that i said he can be rude sometimes. That set him off even more, he carried on the insults and started threatening that "i do everything worse" everytime i was trying to talk. Then he left to "cool off" and return saying sorry and that i am a good person. Then he carried on that he doesnt need anyone and he only tells me his problems because he makes me the favor to include me in whats going on in his life. I said, well if you dont feel like telling me then dont. That set him off again and started that i dont care and he can not do that anymore and that i ruined his night and he doesnt know if he can go to work as i made him feel drained etc etc you get the picture. He insisted i apologize for my behaviour and think what i did. I really dont think that i did anything wrong but said that to him it just made him angrier. I need opinions , i need to understand if is me that i do something wrong or him. This sort of behavor happens often and it got me to a point to not care anymore and just to want it to stop when is happening . Thank you

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nespressofan · 18/03/2017 04:25

angry, angry, angrier? this sort of behaviour happens often and has got you to a point not to care any more. Nuff said.