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Found out ex had ow

(3 Posts)
muntcunch Fri 17-Mar-17 21:27:14

I posted a while back about stbeh leaving after 14 years with no reason other than he was unhappy.

The last 4 months were pretty fucking miserable where he treated me and the children (me much more so) like crap until he left.

He didn't handle the split in a dignified way and made it pretty difficult for me, even though I was heartbroken and devastated at losing my childhood sweetheart and my family unit.

I am now 14 months on from the separation, I have had good days and bad days. I still pine for my old life and the settled family unit we had with our three young children and feel like I will never be truly happy or at peace again.

This week I found out he has a girlfriend, after abit of digging it turns out to be a work colleague and I'm 99% sure there was some sort of overlap (kudos to all of those mumsnetters who told me in no uncertain terms there would be an ow)

I feel devastated all over again, my anxiety is through the roof. I feel so sad, sick to my stomach, worthless almost. I keep questioning my former life and I'm angry at myself at how I've strived to make the separation as easy as possible for him when it was him treating me like a cunt.

He wants the ow to meet the kids and honestly I am freaking out. I have no idea how this works, I want to protect my children but realise I have to rely on him to make sensible decisions regarding ow.
(She has no children, ex can't have any more children)

How do I move forward from this? Please tell me it gets better?

RedastheRose Sat 18-Mar-17 00:59:19

Sorry it's just awful for you atm. I think, it is the fact that you have been lied to for so long that has probably made it feel worse again. Try and think of it as he is a spineless pathetic cheat not the person you once loved. I would seriously recommend getting counselling, I saw a hypno-psychotherapist, she took me through why I had allowed my stbxh to treat me so badly and helped me break the emotional bond I felt for him. Can honestly say that it has helped me so much, I no longer care and can clearly see my ex for the lying cheating pathetic middle aged man he really is and actually pity the OW who has no idea what a prick she has ended up with. Also makes me laugh knowing that my ex cheated before and I know (and he doesn't) that she also cheated with someone prior to him so the chance of either of them being faithful to each other is slim to none. What goes around comes around.

muntcunch Sat 18-Mar-17 07:58:13

Thank you, I've booked in for a counselling session next week.

I wish I never had to deal with him again but obviously can't do that because of the children.

Just the thought of her being in our children's lives is devastating for me

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