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testing testing

(14 Posts)
user1489664743 Fri 17-Mar-17 09:48:25

tried to chat on here yesterday and it wouldn't post, so just checking this works before pouring my heart out! x

Bones17 Fri 17-Mar-17 10:01:30

I see you! 😂

user1489664743 Fri 17-Mar-17 10:10:06

o here we go... it's about the woman I found my husband had been messaging... although I was gutted to find this, we have been working on how this came about, and how his phone addiction was affecting us in general... he had become someone completely different over his phone, saying things he would never say and didn't mean.. and he never met her, never wanted anything more than the messages, and while they discussed sex and talked flirtily, they never mutually 'did anything' or talked or fantasised about it together...
anyway - he's gutted, disgusted by her now, and his self.. never found her attractive in real life, just a much lipsticked profile pic, who was willing to bounce back his silly messages... we are working it out..
it's her....
She was vile to me when found out, told me my marriage was over, that she had been telling him no.. (I read the messages, she had been nothing but encouraging, talked as dirty as he did, and she was the one suggesting they meet) she told me to 'deal with that ha ha ha', she was proper nasty
she risked nothing (surprise surprise she's single) and when found out simply had a nasty go at me, shut up shop, blocked us both on social media and off she went
the thing is she is the mother of my daughter's good friend, so I have to communicate with her on some level, and while in some ways I feel I should be bright and breezy, business as normal, you are nothing to me, have no relevance in my life..
But is it normal to be civil with someone who went behind my back like that, and who was so nasty to me?.. I have good reason not to like her, and not to let her off...But if I am anything other than 'normal' with her, will that give her something, feed her that she can still affect me... that I'm still making something of this...
No good woman sets her cap at a friend's husband like that... it is tempting to get back at her in some way, but I'd just be lowering myself to her level... (immac in her shampoo is sounding tempting though lol)
advice please! thanks

Bones17 Fri 17-Mar-17 10:12:28

Can you not just act like she's not there? Just completely ignore her I mean? When do you bump into each other? X

user1489664743 Fri 17-Mar-17 10:18:49

we have communicated by text, we have to - arranging what the girls are doing etc.. I can't stop having her daughter round etc wouldn't be fair on the girls.. have not seen her since this has been happening, but am bound to at some point... she has just dropped back into normal normal smiley face text messages... the bitch

Bones17 Fri 17-Mar-17 10:53:20

You're a better woman than me I'm afraid! I'd end up cutting ties or I'd have to scrag her everywhere! X

user1489664743 Fri 17-Mar-17 11:07:06

would you want to get back at her? Or just pretend she never existed and be rid of her?

Bones17 Fri 17-Mar-17 11:15:54

I'd just pretend she didn't exist. You're better than that! Hold your head up and don't give her the satisfaction. She wants a reason to call you by the sounds of it. Don't feed it. X

user1489664743 Fri 17-Mar-17 11:29:48

it's more when I do see her, as I'm bound to at some point - am I all smiles and obviously not bothered by her? or more honest and make it clear I don't like her.. I'm torn as to which is the right message... I'm right not to like her, even what they were doing aside, because of how nasty she was to me, so to be all 'business as usual' would be like letting her off her nastiness. But then I don't want her to think what they did is still affecting me, I don't want to give her that... tricky..

berkshyre Fri 17-Mar-17 11:43:41

Treat her like someone you have no social obligation to. Don't smile and pretend to be nice, don't make it clear you hate her. Just ignore as much as possible and if you must talk to her, be brief and cool, with no emotion.

berkshyre Fri 17-Mar-17 11:44:21

If you give her any emotion whatsoever, she'll feed off it.

HHNF Fri 17-Mar-17 11:46:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oddsockspissmeoff Fri 17-Mar-17 11:50:05

How old are the girls? If they're young enough to need arrangements made for them I would let this friendship fizzle out.

user1489664743 Fri 17-Mar-17 12:07:26

the girls are really good friends, and in spite of what the mother is like, her daughter is a nice kid... they're old enough that they have been friends for years now, and I couldn't make it difficult for them.. but not quite old enough to just make their own arrangements... dagnammit

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