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how do I leave? how do I start again? advice PLEASE

(6 Posts)
Jematigg1990 Fri 17-Mar-17 00:46:31

Hi ladies, I need advice, I'm 27, and I've been in a relationship for 6 years we've lived together for 5 1\2 years, I don't have any kids, not happy I find myself in tears at least once a day, but I don't no whether its me (if got fair bit of history with depression) or whether I have reason to be this sad.. I feel like im stuck, and that I have no free will in my own home ft r example when I'm home I spend all my time on my tablet with headfones on because my partner won't let me watch the t.v (he watches he's laptop and he says he can't hear that when the TV is on ) I'm not talking once every blue moon I'm talking every single day. I have to ask permission for everything i want to do, i even ask to ask him for soap powder tablets when im doing laundry (apparently i waste them...yep!) I can sit hear all day and tell you everything he does that I think is wrong but its not what I need help with ... Anyway that's just a bit on info, I've decided I can't be with him he makes me so unhappy and I can't see me ever being happy with him. But how do I go and get myself on my feet again? Ino its what I need to do but I'm scared in fact I'm terrified.. I don't have any money and I don't have no were to go, Ino he will not let me take the furniture iv bought i just want to go as peacefully as possible but how?I just want to be me again and to be free as silly as it sounds, Please if anybody's been through anything similar can you tell me what you did or give me some advice

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Fri 17-Mar-17 01:01:32

Women's Aid. He's being controlling and abusive.

Do you have any money at all?

It doesn't sound silly in the slightest. It sounds like you need to work out your exit plan.
So. First off, when is he out of the house? Can you get some stuff together during this time? Do you have a friend you could leave things with ?

BoboBunnyH0p Fri 17-Mar-17 04:49:26

Definitely contact women's aid. Do you work? Are your wages paid into a joint account or your own?
I would gather up your important documents (passport, birth certificate, driving licence) and move these elsewhere ideally outside of the house. If you are able then gather things that are sentimental so photos and knick knacks again try and store them outside of the home. Pack a go bag, it should contain enough clothing, medications and toiletries for several days, also some money. Stash that somewhere easy to get to so that if he escalates because he finds out your leaving you can grab it and go.

Davidh67 Fri 17-Mar-17 05:41:16

Definitely contact women's aid I have friends who work with them and have nothing but praise for the work they do. A long term plan may be difficult to think about right now but the longer you wait the more anxious you may become. Get out now, even to somewhere u know has to be temporary and after the initial shock has passed u can embrace your freedom

NameNotANumber Fri 17-Mar-17 08:56:23

Great advice from Bobo.

OP get out of this awful relationship and live the life that you deserve.

On top of the good advice that you have had so far, do you have a job to support yourself? If not then you need to get benefits sorted.

You are entitled to take the things that you have bought but you perhaps don't want to worry about rocking the boat until you are out with somewhere to live.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 17-Mar-17 09:04:36

Absolutely Womens Aid - 0808 2000 247
The number will not show on your phone bill.
They are busy so keep trying.
Shelter may be able to help.
Also contact CAB to see what you are entitled to when you leave.
I'm sorry you've found yourself with a controlling abusive man.
Womens Aid can help you get back on your feet.
Make sure you delete your browsing history.
Try not to give anything away.
Leaving an abuser is a dangerous time so tread carefully.
You'll need to gather your paperwork together and put it somewhere safe.
Do you have family or friends or has he isolated from these as well?

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