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How to Breakaway from Friendship

(11 Posts)
Tweedledee3Tweedledum Thu 16-Mar-17 10:18:39

Since becoming a mother, I've made friends with two other women that I met at a toddler group. We met regularly for walks and coffee etc, but I never really felt like they were 'my kind of people', iykwim... in the sense that they are actually both rude, abrupt and quite unapproachable. For example, while out for lunch one day, one snapped her fingers and leaned back shouting at a waitress who did not bring her change quick enough. Wtf?!

They keep messaging me to meet up and I keep making excuses. What do I do? Put on my big girl pants and be honest, or just keep declining invites?

Tweedledee3Tweedledum Thu 16-Mar-17 10:19:59

To clarify, it was me who initiated we meet for coffee etc. I was a new mum, desperate to build some sort of support network.

AutumnRose1988 Thu 16-Mar-17 15:12:05

I really feel for you especially as your intention was to build a network of like minded mummies. It's an amazing time in your life and it's nice to have buddies who are experiencing the same.

Just be busy. Be vague, keep busy, take longer and longer to reply to messages and even speak to your OH and get your stories straight about a potential 'fib' that you can use as an excuse for your absentness. They don't sound like very patient people so I imagine it won't take long for them to get the idea but always always remain the classier person and if they get funny just act mistified because you are "busy" lol xx

Alice212 Thu 16-Mar-17 15:13:27

wow
I'd say "I don't mix with people who think it's okay to click fingers/shout at waitresses".

Hissy Thu 16-Mar-17 17:11:01

Wow! Indeed. I'd think the same as Alice, but probably say nowt and just be busy!

AutumnRose1988 Thu 16-Mar-17 18:00:03

Rude, abrupt and approachable aren't people you want to try and confront because they should like thugs! But wish they could be told how rude they are!

AutumnRose1988 Thu 16-Mar-17 18:00:31

Rude, abrupt and approachable aren't people you want to try and confront because they should like thugs! But wish they could be told how rude they are!

Alice212 Thu 16-Mar-17 18:24:57

They can be told. It's not done often enough.

highinthesky Thu 16-Mar-17 18:28:37

Stick with being busy.

Thinkingofausername1 Thu 16-Mar-17 19:01:59

Be busy. Have boundaries. I've made a few mistakes with friendships where there have been no boundaries. At the moment I have someone wanting to meet up because they like my 'dog'. So I'll be putting boundaries in this one!! Don't feel bad for saying no, in the long run your state of mind will feel better!

AutumnRose1988 Fri 17-Mar-17 15:42:15

They can be told. It's not done often enough.
No disrespect at all but those who would find it easy to confront someone suggest to others who wouldn't that they should and it isn't that simple. My OH suggests I should be more confrontational/thick skinned but it doesn't really take into consideration how I am as a person and that's someone who hates confrontation and couldn't help altering my life to avoid them!

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