Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

He's just disappeared. What the fuck?

(151 Posts)
Deeperthanathousandcuts Wed 15-Mar-17 11:04:34

Divorced but was due to remarry this year. Madly in love with fiance, bought a house together in London and were planning our future together. Kids are staying with their dad this week (thank God!), I come home from Zurich after a shitty business trip and his stuff is gone. Every single thing he possessed. Tried to call him but goes straight to answerphone, tried to whatsapp him but my messages aren't being delivered. Frantically tried to contact him on all social media outlets but he's unfriended me?

The relationship was fantastic, we are financially secure, great sex life and lots of laughs, we'd only recentl returned from a winter vacation in Bali and had the best time. Only thing the fucker didn't take me off is snap chat and There was a snap on his story and in the background it looked like a woman's shoes.

No idea where he is, my kids are going to be devastated. He works away a lot so I don't even know where he is right now.

Lost and not sure what to do next

Eatingcheeseontoast Wed 15-Mar-17 11:09:21

Probably won't help but it sounds like you've had a really lucky escape. 'Phone a friend - have a cry - pick up the pieces. Sorry.

AyeAmarok Wed 15-Mar-17 11:11:12

Can you afford the house on your own? Or are you going to have to move?

AnneLovesGilbert Wed 15-Mar-17 11:11:13

God, that's awful, so sorry flowers

I hope you find out what's happened, there must be a friend or family member you could contact, just so you know?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Wed 15-Mar-17 11:11:44

Just seen you bought a house together. . Shit. .

Gallavich Wed 15-Mar-17 11:12:22

Fuck. What a shock. So sorry flowers

Ferrisday Wed 15-Mar-17 11:12:33

His friends, family?

GeekyWombat Wed 15-Mar-17 11:12:45

This is so awful, I'm sorry OP. Can you pay the bills on your own? Is the mortgage in both your names?

flissfloss65 Wed 15-Mar-17 11:14:12

You must be in so much shock and feel knocked sideways. One thing I would do is check you bank account/savings are safe.

xStefx Wed 15-Mar-17 11:14:54

Have you tried calling his family? at least to check he is ok. Does seem strange OP. I would be confused too.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 15-Mar-17 11:16:36

Wow - that must be horrible.
Sorry but it's probably OW.
So you give yourself time.
You look after yourself.
Cry when you need to away from DC.
Try to put your broken heart back together and move on.
But time right now is what you need.
Time to process everything.
It's nothing YOU have done - nothing at all.
This is all down to him being a feckin' coward and running away.
Dick-head!
Get as much love and support around you as you can.
Keep busy.
Sorry this has happened to you.

EyeStye Wed 15-Mar-17 11:18:29

Shit. I'm so sorry OP. You have a house together - what the actual fuck does he think he's doing. Any friends or work colleagues you can contact?

Adora10 Wed 15-Mar-17 11:18:58

Sounds like he's been living a double life; amazed someone can be so callous, sorry you're going through this.

plimsolls Wed 15-Mar-17 11:19:44

Jesus Christ, you poor thing.

What a horribly shitty cowardly fucked up thing to do.

As a PP said, cry, be supported by friends and family, secure your money/accounts, do what you need to do to be kind to yourself and children, and in time move on, seeing this as your lucky escape.

flowers

EyeStye Wed 15-Mar-17 11:19:53

Friends or colleagues of his I mean.
I'd doorstep the fucker outside his work

Butterymuffin Wed 15-Mar-17 11:24:44

Happened to a friend of mine many years ago. She finally tracked him down at work and he said he didn't want to know anymore. Turned out he'd met another woman and just decided that was it, the coward.
It got better later as, years on, he asked for another chance and she told him where to go grin and is now happily married to someone else. But this is the worst bit. Speak to your solicitors and get advice on what to do about the house. And don't be afraid to tell people what he's done - you will need support and they'll rightly regard him as a shit.

Groovee Wed 15-Mar-17 11:25:42

sad what a coward!

Oldraver Wed 15-Mar-17 11:26:00

This sounds quite pre-planned. How are things financially ?

rainbowsandsunshine Wed 15-Mar-17 11:26:27

So sorry OP flowers

Oldraver Wed 15-Mar-17 11:27:08

Sorry I know finances are not the most important thing, but wondering if he's done some kind of number on you...--apart from being a wankbadger--

DartmoorDoughnut Wed 15-Mar-17 11:27:27

WTAF?! Who does that confused what a twat!

SparklyMagpie Wed 15-Mar-17 11:28:14

What am absolute twat!

So sorry OP flowers

unfortunateevents Wed 15-Mar-17 11:28:19

How dreadful. You must be in a state. Can you get a friend around to help you with practicalities now? Presumably you know where your fiancé works. Can you check if he is there?

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry Wed 15-Mar-17 11:28:23

please deal with your finances straight away to protect yourself as much as possible. Sorry you may not be emotionally able to deal with it but the very last thing you need is someone coming back months later and disrupting things further.

MaryMorpho Wed 15-Mar-17 11:28:29

How awful OP, what a shock flowers brew

What a SHITTY thing to do. angry

Have you checked all your finances and made sure he hasn't taken any money from you? Make sure everything is secure and not accessible by him. It's bonkers of him to go uncontactable when you own a house together - that has to be sorted out.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now