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Worried About Ex

(11 Posts)
BettyBlue84 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:05:51

Well he's not really an ex, we worked together for 6 months and had a very brief affair over 10 years ago when I was 20 and he was 40. I'm not proud of myself nor do I condone cheating. I was single, he wasn't. I was young and wanted something exciting.

Anyway, we hadn't spoken for a very long time but we re-connected through Facebook last year. Nothing untoward as I am very happily married and have a child and he is also married (to the woman he cheated on with me).

We've chatted a few times over the phone about where life has taken us and what we've been up to and he had wanted to meet for coffee but we never agreed a date or time.

Anyway, he was due an operation on his heart, then his wife took him on holiday, then his FIL sadly passed away leaving them his house which they were moving into before Christmas, so I hadn't spoken to him for a few weeks. Which has now turned into months with my texts seemingly being ignored.

I am really worried something has happened to him. Either his wife has found out what happened all those years ago and the shit has hit the fan, or his op didn't go well and he's dead.... I tried calling yesterday but his mobile seems to be switched off.

I know all this seems a little crazy, and I honestly don't know what I expect to happen, but I can't help wondering what's happened to him!

What would you do?

hellsbellsmelons Tue 14-Mar-17 16:13:03

I'd stop being so over invested in all honesty.
No good can come from this at all.
His DW probably found the messages and has made him cut contact.
He could well have just blocked you.
Move on.

Adora10 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:15:44

Sure he's fine OP, time to move on and stop contact; I don't think it's very nice considering you had an affair with him previously; just leave him and his wife to it.

He's ignoring you, you need to do the same.

Mrsemcgregor Tue 14-Mar-17 16:20:50

Surely if he is dead there would be something on Facebook?

I would walk away. You are happily married, just get on with your life.

MadMags Tue 14-Mar-17 16:22:03

I'd stop talking to the man I was fucking while he was married...

BettyBlue84 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:22:10

FWIW he is the one who contacted me.

I think he's been found out, so I'll delete his number and forget about him.

BettyBlue84 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:23:14

MadMags He wasn't married back then (I know that doesn't make it right).

MadMags Tue 14-Mar-17 16:26:27

No, it doesn't make a difference.

How does your dh feel about this need for contact with the man you cheated with?

BettyBlue84 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:35:30

DH doesn't mind who I talk to as we trust each other explicitly.

It's not like I was hoping to start up the affair again!

He contacted me, and has now vanished. I can't help being worried.

Adora10 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:36:26

The guy's track record is that of a cheat; why you want to keep in touch with a married man that you cheated with is beyond me.

His health, his personal life, is his wife's concern; no idea why you are even concerned about a man that is not in your life.

You know it's all kinds of wrong.

BettyBlue84 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:42:37

I know, you're right. I'm just going to leave it.


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