Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How do you stop yourself

(11 Posts)
Outedlasttimenamechangeagain Tue 14-Mar-17 08:31:08

I am no contact with me ex (it feels good to say that this time I think it will stick) but I keep wanting to check his Facebook.
Yesterday I made an effort not to, although I still did it once or twice and today the first thing I did was check even though I told myself not to.
We are no longer friends on Facebook but his profile is not private.
Besides telling myself not to and making a concious effort (which will sometimes fail) not to, how do I stop myself? Any hints?

Annesmyth123 Tue 14-Mar-17 08:33:10

Block him then you can't see him at all

Outedlasttimenamechangeagain Tue 14-Mar-17 08:48:57

The problem with that is it's in my power to unblock him if I get curious, I've done that before.
Although it certainly is something I hadn't thought of this time so I will do that straight away. Thanks

SimonSmithsAmazingDancingBear Tue 14-Mar-17 08:55:43

Well no one can do it for you.

You will have to do what everyone else does and that's when you catch yourself thinking of doing it, distract yourself, put the kettle on, empty the washing machine... whatever.

There's nothing specific that is going to stop you from doing it. Break the habit, like all habits, and then you will stop thinking about it.

You have all the power here. But then, if you're unblocking fb profiles you've blocked, then there's nothing anyone here will be able to say.

Outedlasttimenamechangeagain Tue 14-Mar-17 09:03:54

The difference this time is that I want to stop myself. I've now blocked his profile and will try distraction techniques. Thank you, does it get easier to stop doing this over time?

hellsbellsmelons Tue 14-Mar-17 09:29:19

Yes it does indeed.
My Ex unfriended me anyway so I can only see his profile and none of his postings.
I am not so good at not checking out the current OW though! blush

TheNaze73 Tue 14-Mar-17 10:36:49

It's a bit like giving up smoking. Choose your date, stick to that date & go cold turkey. You're not giving anything up & your mind will be healthier for it

CheersMedea Tue 14-Mar-17 11:55:50

What about picking a day that is easy to remember - like the first of the month or the 10th, 20th, etc and take it one day at a time?

So to start with you will think I haven't checked for 1 day/2 days/a week/two weeks. The longer your "record" becomes the more incentive you will have not to break it.

Treat it like giving up alcohol or cigarettes. One day. 24 hours. You can manage that.

HebeBadb Tue 14-Mar-17 11:58:34

I blocked one guy last August. So glad I did. Dated him for about 8 weeks and I didn't hate him or anything, I am just glad there is no way for him to contact me again. I would have been 10% waiting for him to come back to me when he was drunk/bored/lonely ten more internet dates round the block............. but nope, he can't. And with distance now I am so glad.

Outedlasttimenamechangeagain Tue 14-Mar-17 19:35:27

Thanks all for your good ideas, I am going to stop this tomorrow, tomorrow is my "quit creeping on my ex and the ow day"
Today I have seen him and the ow together and been reminded how shit he makes me feel, so I have looked more often than I should have, which only served to remind me - it hurts to look, why would I do anything to cause myself more pain.
The whole purpose of no contact is to avoid pain.

nonameinspiration Tue 14-Mar-17 19:36:07

Just get rid of Facebook

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now