OH GOD! Contacted OW!

[BitterHarvest]

OH God! It seemed like a good idea after a lonely glass of wine last night. Now I'm regretting this.

My OH had a sex texting thing from some woman on the internet 4 years ago. I found out we worked through it. But I am not ashamed to say I have made him work for forgiveness and I'm not entirely sure I trust him now.

He recently changed his phone to a new network etc and gave me his old one. I just kept it as was and kept his number.

Got a text yesterday at Lunchtime.

"Hey sexty! Haven't heard from you an a looooooooong while. What you at 2day?"


I have had this phone since Christmas and this is the first message I have got. At the time I found out about her I found out she has. Boyfriend where he works and who her family are (open Facebook profile)

So last night in reply I sent a message saying Who I was and that I'd forwarded her message screen shot to her Boyfriend and her family..........I didn't, but I wanted to make her shake the way I did when inreceived her message.

Now I feel shit. I always felt I maintained a high ground when I wasn't even acknowledging her and in truth I'd forgotten about her. Do I need to tell OH what I did? I do don't I? 😒

Feel a bit crap today for doing that.

[123MothergotafleA]

Alls fair in love and war!!
Just forget about it, it's no biggie!

[Boredbeforeievenbegan]

I don't blame you, she deserves to be on the receiving end of that gut wrenching feeling, but yeah, better tell your oh.

[WellErrr]

I wouldn't believe she's waited 4 years to text him.

[PollytheDolly]

No, don't tell him.

She shouldn't have texted, should she.

[RockyBird]

It's done now, don't panic. You maybe regret sending it but you're not the one in the wrong.

All the best to you.

[Imaginesthat]

Hmm I don't think that's the first message in four years maybe a few months

[Meowstro]

So she's text him after 4 years without contact?

Don't worry about your text, she's in the wrong. Why do you need to tell your OH?

[Oscha]

Do you believe she hasn't texted him in the four years between you finding out and you getting the phone?

[Littleballerina]

It's not been 4 years op.
I'd tell him that he had a text.

[MadMags]

Well there's no way it's been four years is there?

I think that should be your priority, tbh.

[DisgruntledGoat]

She probably deserves some bad karma. Don't be too hard on yourself though, we all do silly things once in a while. It might give her a bit of a wake up call about her behaviour. Why would she suddenly start texting though after four years? Seems odd tbh

[CookieLady]

No way has she contacted him after four years. Don't say anything to him. Just watch and wait.

[EverythingEverywhere1234]

Let's be real here, he never cut contact with her. The chances of her texting after 4 years of nothing, just a couple of months after you have his phone are slim to absolutely none.

[gamerchick]

Meh she text first you didn't seek her out from what you've said.

I wouldn't say anything to anyone. Let her stew.

[Thinkingblonde]

Why is her number still on his phone? Why didn't he delete it four years ago? These are the questions I'd be asking him.

[LookAtTheFlowersKerry]

She's done what I often do which is save his new number without deleting the old one. Sheer laziness. But it does mean I sometimes text the wrong one.

I highly doubt that's the first contact in FOUR YEARS.

[roundandround4x4]

Don't be hard on yourself. It' just a normal reaction, hopefully she is experiencing that gut wrenching feeling for getting in touch. I would also disagree with the posters who say it hasn't been four years. He wouldn't have given you his phone and not tell her if they were still in touch.

[shovetheholly]

I don't think it sounds like they haven't had contact for 4 years either. So sorry you're going through this, it's awful living with suspicion.

[LookAtTheFlowersKerry]

Was it definitely the same woman? Did you keep her number on your phone?

[pho3be]

No don't tell him, wait & see if he finds out. 💪

[Finola1step]

I think your panic about replying has muddied the waters here. The key question really is "Do you believe that it is 4 years since their last contact?" If yes, forget all about it. Block her number and carry on as you were.

If no, then you have a much bigger issue on your hands.

[hmcAsWas]

I sometimes get messages via messenger (can by 18 months apart or more) from an ex-fiancée from 22 years ago and I either reply politely and neutrally or not at all (sheesh, what can I say - he clearly never got over me ) ......my point being that whilst it is unlikely that she has sent a text to your dh out of the blue after four years of no contact, it isn't impossible

[InfiniteSheldon]

Well done and stop feeling guilty you've done nothing wrong