Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Date rape

10 replies

Stripesandsprinkles · 13/03/2017 23:18

In Scotland if a 16 year old reports date rape to the her guidance teacher do they have authority to report it to her parents or the police? A family member of mine was at a party on Saturday and passed out and a boy at the party has bragged to friends that he had sex with her while she was "out it" she's traumatised and won't tell her parents as they aren't very understanding and she won't go to the police but we did manage to persuade her to ask to speak to a councler in school so a teacher knows do they have the authority to go to police?

OP posts:

Report

Dieu · 14/03/2017 00:24

Yes. They have a duty of care to the child, and would be unable to keep it secret. After all, a crime has been committed against that child.
Hope the poor girl is ok.

Report

Meowstro · 14/03/2017 06:54

As pp has said, the school can't keep this from them. I'm so sorry this has happened to your relative, she'll need a lot of support through this whole thing and the words "I believe you." Hope you can lend a shoulder for her too, OP.

Report

Gingerbreadlass · 14/03/2017 08:01

The poor girl, is there any way you could persuade her to see a rape clinic, they will know how to handle this. Just so she has a better chance of prosecuting if she chooses to. No

Report

VestalVirgin · 14/03/2017 12:04

At 16, can't she be enabled to move to her own flat if her parents are abusive?

I am not sure what you mean by "they aren't very understanding", but what it sounds like is that they will beat her up for having had "sex outside marriage", like in Dubai.

Report

Stripesandsprinkles · 15/03/2017 12:18

Thank you everyone we are trying our best to support her but she won't really talk about it she says she just wants it to go away and she's terrified of people in get school finding out about it. My hearts Brocken for her. Her parents aren't abusive just not very understanding and are really hard on her and have made comments about girls in this situation before

OP posts:

Report

JoJoSM2 · 15/03/2017 12:26

Aren't you actually legally obliged to inform the police if you know of such a serious crime having been committed? She does need help desperately- she's the victim and it won't go away - she could even end up with lifelong mental health issues.

Report

myoriginal3 · 15/03/2017 12:31

She can go to the police herself directly I think and ask them not to inform her parents? I think so anyway! Perhaps there are police officers about who could clarify? In any case, she doesn't have to proceed with the investigation if she doesn't want to.

I myself was raped last September. Police were good. Took all details and evidence but wouldn't proceed without my go-ahead.

The only thing is though is that they visited me at my house, so that might complicate things for her.

Ultimately though, if she just wants to try to forget it all (which is what I have chosen to do), please respect her decision.

Rape cases are dreadfully hard to convict on and involve months and months of police involvement followed by a barrister for the defence cutting you to shreds in a court.

Report

myoriginal3 · 15/03/2017 12:35

If she does agree to go the police route, the police will be more interested in your relative than in her parents. They might also speak to the parents on the girl's behalf.

Report

myoriginal3 · 15/03/2017 12:36

You could try to ring 101 yourself and ask for advice as to how such situations are handled. Do it anonymously if you prefer.