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Dating before divorce is final

(3 Posts)
Kikikaakaa Mon 13-Mar-17 22:56:58

Talking to my BF recently and he says it bothers him that he is not yet divorced while he is in a relationship with me, as he feels like it is unfair on me. I had never thought of it in this way, I know so many people who don't get divorced straight away and think as long as you are separated, then you can't exactly put your whole life on hold?

When we met he had not that long been separated (6m, DW's choice) but he had already put divorce in motion quickly. It's taken ages but almost done and dusted. As I knew this and that he seemed to have little emotional feelings towards her anymore (they seem to be friends but not in love anymore) I felt it would probably be ok although was wary and took my time to be sure I was not rebound woman.

We don't even live together and have no plans to, but he feels like it is disrespectful to me and it plays on his mind? I don't really know what to say to this apart from 'it's ok I honestly get it'. Now I know he's spent a year worrying about this and wish he had said something sooner!

It's pretty normal in this day and age isn't it, to meet someone when you aren't quite divorced? Or do people wait it out?

Jenniferb21 Mon 13-Mar-17 23:04:21

I wouldn't find anything wrong with it if he's committed to you and things are definitely over in his marriage which in this case they are. Sometimes you see people who are separated still living together or meeting up socially or wearing rings etc etc so every case is different. But as in yours when he has definitely moved on I think it's great he's found happiness again and so have you and life is too short to wait around. Who cares what some people may think. As far as I'm concerned there's no moral problem here nobody is being disloyal or anything.


TheNaze73 Tue 14-Mar-17 08:38:09

Everyone will be different. I get where your BF is coming from.

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