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Am I being unreasonable?

(6 Posts)
IsItWine0ClockSoon Mon 13-Mar-17 18:41:29

Genuine question here people-am I being unreasonable? I'm a stay-at-home mum with two small children and I do feel very privileged to be able to dedicate all my time to my family. I will work again at some point, and really look forward to doing so, but I don't think my mental state would be beneficial to anyone if I added time constraints, work pressure etc to my already exhausted and anxious mind. I'm tired 90% of the time and don't get much time to myself at all. Even if I do, it usually on the proviso that my husband is home (works a lot) and is in agreement with me taking some time out. If I do something for myself, I feel guilty because my kids and home are 'my job'!
He is becoming increasingly frustrated with me and has asked me on numerous occasions 'why are you so tired?!'
I know that I should be more forthcoming and tell him that I'm busy for half a Saturday or that I need a day off once in a while but should I really 'get over it' when I'm tired or upset?!
Just read that back to myself and im not really sure I've made much sense!
Any thoughts would be much appreciated. X x

SorrelSoup Mon 13-Mar-17 18:47:01

If you're equating it to a job, nobody works 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You're being a martyr. Everyone will benefit from you taking time out. Grab it.

Plus it's not your job alone anyway.

category12 Mon 13-Mar-17 18:52:34

What do you mean "on the proviso he's in agreement" with you taking some time out?

JoJoSM2 Mon 13-Mar-17 20:08:18

Just schedule some time out for yourself every weekend wiht your husband looking after the children and the home. If I were you, I'd also consider working part-time (say 15h/week) and arranging childcare so that you get an extra couple of hours to yourself to relax.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Mon 13-Mar-17 20:21:03

No. You're not being unreasonable. Lone parents can find it near on impossible to get time off if the other parent has disappeared, but one of the key benefits of marriage is that you have two parents, both of whom are parenting. Your DH needs to pull his weight.

Of course you're exhausted. You're on duty 24/7. Ask your DH how he'd feel if he was working the hours you are. Get him to justify not caring for his DC so you get a break.

Jackeve Mon 13-Mar-17 21:29:46

No you aren't being unreasonable at all. When my two were little I was a SAHM for a while and it was exhausting. I found that being at home with the kids gave me so much more housework, you don't get chance to sit down as are constantly running around after your children and I felt I was losing my identity and felt unstimulated intellectually which was tiring in itself and as you said your job never ends. I went back to work part time and loved it as I was doing a job I loved and escaping from the house even though I missed being with my children. I even had the luxury of an hour to myself for lunch. If working isn't an option then yes you need time to yourself and time spent with grown ups without the kids. x

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