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Update to keep those in despair hanging on in there

(29 Posts)
Swift1978 Sun 12-Mar-17 22:55:52

Some of you might remember me, I posted about 5 months ago when my husband walked out on me with no warning. Will post a link to the thread below if I can work out how to do it. Anyway after 3 weeks solid of crying my eyes out and begging him to come home, I dusted my shattered heart off and went back to work, certain it would all come falling down around my ears and I wouldn't cope (as he'd made sure to tell me I couldn't cope without him for many years).

Well, something amazing happened..... I survived! I can't say it is easy working full time and running the house/kids completely on my own but it's really bloody liberating! After that first full week back at work I knew I could do this and I started to realise how much nicer things were without him around! I hadn't realised how miserable I was and how EA he was. Me and dds love being a girls only house and we are all so close now, dd2 still has a few wobbles but she says herself that she prefers him not being at home as she actually spends more quality time with him now and we have a nicer time at home as we do what we want when we want without having to ask his permission. I'm actually so much happier and relaxed without home.

So around Christmas time I realised that I didn't want to sit around at home alone every night now that I had nights where he had dd2 and where dd1 was out or at her boyfriend's. So I thought I'd sign up for a dating site as some company on nights out would be nice. I can't believe how much response I've had, literally beautiful men telling me how hot I am! Definitely the confidence boost I needed. grin

So chatted to a few different men, some turned out to be pervs before we had even been on a date so got written off but there's one guy that I've chatted to almost every day for about 6/7 weeks now. We have been on several dates, he always makes the effort, drives over 1 1/2 hours each way to see me. We kissed on the second date and last night we DTD!!!!! All night!!!! Was the best fun I've had with my clothes off in a long while! He's fun grin. I can't believe I've turned my life around so quickly. So happy being an independent woman! Especially one that gets all night shagging sessions! wink

Swift1978 Sun 12-Mar-17 22:57:17

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2772978-Husband-walked-out-no-support original post here

pallasathena Mon 13-Mar-17 06:58:39

You're wonderful! And an inspiration to all those who are in seriously awful relationships because not only did you survive, you are positively thriving.
You've made my day OP.

AnyFucker Mon 13-Mar-17 07:00:07

Yay star

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Mon 13-Mar-17 07:04:04

Awesome. Go you!

supercue Mon 13-Mar-17 07:15:47

smile Congratulations.

ilovelamp82 Mon 13-Mar-17 07:17:59

Congratulations

Yoksha Mon 13-Mar-17 09:15:04

Way to go Swift.....I'm really pleased for you.

Mumfun Mon 13-Mar-17 09:20:54

Fab smile

Clockwork97 Mon 13-Mar-17 10:33:56

Fantastic news, yes I read your thread, keep us posted, your an inspiration for us all 😁

hellsbellsmelons Mon 13-Mar-17 11:07:32

Well done OP.
Those early days look so bleak, like there is not end in sight.
And then suddenly it changes.
Enjoy it all!

angiekk Mon 13-Mar-17 11:19:30

"just when the caterpillar thought the world was over. It became a beautiful butterfly". Well done you smile

colouringinagain Mon 13-Mar-17 11:27:59

Brilliant grin

Swift1978 Mon 13-Mar-17 19:54:21

Thanks all, just want to give some hope to those feeling like I did when I first posted.... I honestly thought that was it and my life was over, thank god I had the dds to focus on and ride out those first awful weeks with. I would never have believed how strong and happy I would feel now..... if I can do it, anyone can! grin

Forwardsforwards Mon 13-Mar-17 19:58:13

I seem to have something in my eye OP.
Delighted for you...and mildly envious 😊

rosiemorag Mon 13-Mar-17 20:01:52

Thanks for posting this! You're just the inspiration I need right now. flowers

Well done.

Patriciathestripper1 Mon 13-Mar-17 20:19:03

Fantastic news and well done to you flowers wine

sotiredbutworthit Mon 13-Mar-17 20:24:00

Fantastic!! Well done! Xxxxx

Secretlife0fbees Mon 13-Mar-17 21:27:28

Well done you!! You're fab! flowers

Swift1978 Tue 14-Mar-17 21:37:02

In typical fashion the ex has text me tonight asking me to meet as he just 'has' to tell me somethings. How do I politely say unless it has an affect on dd I really don't want to or need to know?! I think he is going to do some sort of confessional about his drinking and potential cheating but I really couldn't care less any more!

ilovelamp82 Tue 14-Mar-17 22:00:55

Tell him if there's things he needs to tell you about DD to email you.

AnyFucker Tue 14-Mar-17 22:01:03

Why do you need to let him down politely ?

Just respond "nothing you have to say is of interest to me, I will communicate only about practical arrangements for child care"

And mean it

Swift1978 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:49:30

Well despite my 'I really don't want or need to know' spiel he insisted on texting me to tell me that he cheated on me a few days before he walked out. I am either shocked or surprised by this, he is a pathetic walking cliche.

I am however royally pissed off about how he made me feel like it was all my fault our relationship broke down when actually it was because he was a lying, cheating cunt. So I replied to tell him this. I also stated that since I now had proof of his adultery I would now like the divorce that he has refused to pay for and that he can now bloody well pay up for.

I'm not even in the slightest bit sad, if he hadn't been such an utter cunt I might still be living that miserable lie of a life. He is dead to me! Yay! wine

Swift1978 Tue 14-Mar-17 23:51:12

*neither not either!

AnyFucker Wed 15-Mar-17 06:30:13

What a dick

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