I have a birthday in march, and as it turns out so do many of my friends. Two who I consider my best friends are turning 30 this month, so obviously they will want to celebrate which is fine. Several weeks ago they sent out a whatsapp asking several people to go away to a holiday cottage and I confirmed and said yes I'd love to come. This is coming up next weekend. Around this time as I knew next weekend would be booked up, I messaged them and just a few very close friends if they would like to just have a few drinks, nothing huge, around my place for mine and dps birthday and also as a bit of a housewarming as we have just moved. Not bothered about too much of a fuss as not a landmark birthday for me, so literally just a few drinks/nibbles. I usually would arrange this sort of thing so far In advance, but thought it would give them/others a chance to say "sorry no good for me due to xyz reason" as I know march seems to be a busy month in my circle, and may potentially give me chance to change date etc.
So anyway, various people got back to me to confirm/decline and that was fine. But these two stayed silent. TBH I just wanted a quiet do with a few of my closest friends, and I consider them close, so when I saw them I mentioned it casually and they were a bit non-commital. One mentioned she might have friends staying that weekend, so I said they were welcome to come too if they like? Still no firm yes/no. Mentioned it a couple of times since, not in a pressurised way, but just in a "would be nice to see you if you could make it" kind of way. In the times I have seen them I casually mentioned that I was finding it hard to find childcare for dd their weekend, but I would work something out and I was definitely 100% coming and looking forward to it, and one said quite sternly "you're coming, ok." In a semi-jokey way. Anyway, fast forward to yesterday when I was due to have my gathering and I sent them a whatsapp just to say "would be lovely to see you this evening - anyone welcome!" And one of them replies "would be nice to see you!" So still very nebulous, and lol and behold they didn't show. As it turns out it was lovely about 13 of my good friends - had a great time. However was very disappointed that the two I consider my best friends couldn't be bothered to come, or even give me a straight answer or "apologies can't make it" in the several weeks they have known about this.
Of course in work Monday (I work with one) I will get texts asking me to go to lunch with her, listen to her problems etc as always. I am tempted just to ignore them both, and not bust a gut to get childcare for their do this weekend, or even not bother showing or often any explanation as to why. But of course I won't do that because I am a mug, or maybe just because I am a decent person and wouldn't do that to them on a landmark birthday.
Just feel a bit let down and mugged off though to be honest. 😕 (god sorry that was long!)
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Need some perspective on this "friend" issue.
Bottlesoflove · 12/03/2017 10:37
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