Hi I'll start by saying I'm 17 and just found this site whilst looking for advice online. About 3am this morning I had a call off a close friend telling me he had just had to step in after his step dad pushed his mum whilst she was holding his 4 day old baby sister, he had heard the baby crying and his mum screaming stop so went to see what was happening. I stayed on the phone a bit and things calmed down (step dad went to sleep in the spare room) so advised him not to hesitate in calling 999 if things escalated again and that I would be along with better advice in the morning. My friend hasn't slept a wink all night so I'm going to go and see him later but what advice should I give him for this situation, he's not sure how/if he can help his mum (he's pretty sure it isn't the first time he's harmed her) but doesn't want to sit back and do nothing either. Thanks
Ok thanks for that, I found the women's aid website when I was googling things and sent him to have a look, will get him to call them later. He is also going to sit down and speak to his mum later on when his step dad is out the house, I think he is finally getting a bit of sleep now so I might be back later on,
I think your advice was spot on in not hesitating to call 999 if things escalated. He probably needs to have a quiet word with his mum today when his step dad is out of the way and offer her support. There's an organisation called Women's Aid which can offer specific advice in these circumstances.
Your poor friend He is lucky to have you looking out for him though. His mum is in a very abusive relationship, he pushed her whilst she was holding a tiny baby, this will already be having a negative impact on the baby's emotional wellbeing.
Sounds harsh but the best thing your friend could do is tell the police, his mum is obviously worn down by him and can't see a way out. Childrens social care will help her to see the light and protect your friend and the baby.
Thanks for the advice, he has spoken to his mum and they are going to stay with family, he's not sure whether she is going to call the police but he is glad she wants to leave as she is financially dependent on his step dad so was worried that would stop her
I suspect that in a couple of days, his mum will start to waver and think it wasn't so bad and that she wants to go back. This happens a lot with people who've been abused, they've been taught to believe they couldn't cope on their own.
It's very hard but your friend needs to be prepared to call the police. Whatever his mum decides to do, his baby sister needs to be protected. She isn't safe there.
I hope they get away okay today, will you let us know when they're safe with family?
Well done for supporting your friend. I hope they stay away but yes it's sadly common for victims to return to abusers. It's because they have basically been brainwashed by the abuser to think they can't cope without them.
I did mention to him about maybe ringing social services or something if she goes back to him? I wasn't sure if you can do that, or 101/women's aid for advice? I can't get hold of him at the minute but I'm guessing they are busy, I will update later.