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affair with an ex

(7 Posts)
user1489302352 Sun 12-Mar-17 07:16:40

I was in a serious relationship with this guy for 3.5 yrs until I finally got married to someone of my father's choice.I loved my husband but could never forget my 1st love.We had a pretty bad break-up with too much of heart-ache on both sides.It was a very painful break-up.
Now after 8 years he reconnected back with me over social network.Both of us are married with kids now...
Gradually over a period of time we have started falling for each other...confessed our love for each other..even started having virtual sex.But that doesnt at all stop me from loving and caring for my husband...I love him the way I used to...we have a great sex life and very content with each other.Same with him too...but then what is is all about..for the both of us...why this attraction...why this love...we are in regular touch on msgs...we stay in different parts of globe and try keep in touch as much as possible.
What do I do...deep within am not happy with the way things are going..always in the guilt mode..I love my husband so much but why am I doing things this way.

iamavodkadrinker Sun 12-Mar-17 07:48:52

If you loved your husband you wouldn't be betraying him. Do him a favour and tell him what he's married to.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Sun 12-Mar-17 07:58:37

Are you a bit bored? Perhaps craving some excitement? If he lived nearby, would you have met up with him by now or does the distance make you feel 'safe' (ie physically unable to cheat). I don't think you are as happy in your marriage as you claim because otherwise, you wouldn't be doing this. Hold on to the fact that this man hurt you very badly before.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Sun 12-Mar-17 08:01:36

Also, is there a cultural issue here as you say 'my father's choice'? Would you have married this man if your dad is hadn't been involved?

Jellybellyqueen Sun 12-Mar-17 09:44:46

If you're feeling guilty, you know you are in the wrong. If you loved your husband the way you say you do, you wouldn't be betraying him by having an emotional affair just for a bit of excitement. He'd probably be devastated if he found out, so make a choice and stop being selfish.

Annesmyth123 Sun 12-Mar-17 09:47:09

He's using you for wank fodder. Be very careful - the virtual sex videos Could be getting shared.

highinthesky Sun 12-Mar-17 09:50:06

OP, in years to come you will look back at this and cringe.

Go cold turkey and concentrate on making an independent decision about your marriage. Accept this other chap is a symptom but don't turn him into a complication.

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