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Don't know what to do

(6 Posts)
Adrianflank Sun 12-Mar-17 06:56:04

Hello, I apologise in advance I am a bloke

I feel like I'm stuck in between a hard place and a rock!

It's all to do with a very good friend of mine, my best mate! His had a really crap life so far, when he was 13 his dad committed suicide, he found his dad in the garage, he had hanged himself, no one should ever witness this especially at 13!

As you can imagine this has caused nothing but mental health problems for him, his mum was his rock, but unfortunately she died 2 years ago, I have always been there for him, but since his mum died I have had to help him out much more, and I don't want to sound selfish here but it has been emotionly draining, I'm currently off work with stress because of it, the last 6 months have been the worst, he has attempted to take his own life 3 times, the last time he came very close!

I just don't know what to do anymore, he refuses any sort of help, I'm drained, I feel like I have had to put my life on hold

BusterGonad Sun 12-Mar-17 06:59:31

I don't really have advice to offer but as a wife of a man, who had one of his best friends commit suicide I can only say that I feel for you and it must be very very hard. If I were you I'd ring a helpline to get more professional advice.

abc12345 Sun 12-Mar-17 07:03:42

Yes I agree call samratons, mind and definitely take him to a gp. They should all have some good advice for you.
Im sorry I can't offer anymore advice than that.
He's very lucky to have a friend like you.

BusterGonad Sun 12-Mar-17 07:05:37

He needs intervention wether he wants it or not. It will be painful for you but you need to do what's is best, not what he wants.

ElspethFlashman Sun 12-Mar-17 07:08:37

So his mental health problems are giving you mental health problems?

This is not friendship. You are not The Giving Tree to be worn down to a stump.

You NEED to start drawing boundaries. So carving out some time where you don't check on him and don't answer his calls straight away.

Joysmum Sun 12-Mar-17 09:02:39

I think you've crossed that line between wanting to help and feeling responsible for him.

The theory is that you offer a supportive friendship and can feel bad for him, but no more than that for your own sanity.

So, time to examine your own thoughts. What is it about you, and him, that is making you feel responsible for him to such a degree? Once you have a little understanding about your motivations for crossing this line you can begin to challenge them.

Do you know it's OK to not be responsible for him and that you won't be judged for that?

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