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Friend with BPD and her children

(8 Posts)
hopefulbuttired Sat 11-Mar-17 20:49:06

I am so sorry if this is not the place to ask for help but I could do with some advice, so I sincerely appreciate any effort to address this issue.

My closest friend has a personality disorder. I love her. She has been hospitalised several times for her MH problems.
She has three children who live with her (husband left two years ago and has no contact) and I am becoming increasingly concerned about their well being.
They're good kids. two girls and a boy.
What can I do to mitigate the impact of her critical and negative approach toward them?

SimonSmithsAmazingDancingBear Sun 12-Mar-17 07:25:37

You can contact the NSPCC. You don't have to give details and you can express your concerns freely.

They will be able to advise you.

kineticmagnetic Sun 12-Mar-17 07:32:29

What is it that's bothering you? Is she declining in health?

PaperdollCartoon Sun 12-Mar-17 07:35:44

I have BPD, but I've been in recovery/remission for a few years now, so I don't see the worst of it anymore. I also luckily avoided some of the worst 'attack' symptoms I see in others.
I know what you're alluding to with 'critical and negative approach to them' and there's very little you can do there except try to praise and encourage them as much as possible, however I don't think that can undo nasty things said by someone's mum. What help or therapy is she getting for her BPD?

kineticmagnetic Sun 12-Mar-17 07:40:18

I have BPD too-that's why I asked if there was a decline.

I know my family watch my moods very carefully with me being a lone parent and offer a lot more support if I'm wobbly.

hopefulbuttired Sun 12-Mar-17 07:46:26

I would say, at the moment, she's pretty good atm.she has CMHT input.
It's just that last week it was particulalrly noticeable how unpleasant she can be to them, verbally, and totally without remorse, so when challenged just becomes aggressive towards me.
I have a thick skin, I'm in my 30s and work in a male dominated field, so obviously not concerned about me, but it seems the services involved in their life are centred around her problem and don't seem concerned about or even aware of, the impact on these young minds.

Thank you all for replying. I feel a little less alone.

kineticmagnetic Sun 12-Mar-17 08:13:12

Have you brought it up with her (in a gentle manner of course)? Sometimes I do things I don't realise are inappropriate until someone pulls me up.

hopefulbuttired Sun 12-Mar-17 08:21:44

kinetic yes, I have, on a few occasions, but she seems unable to accept that her behaviour negatively impacts on them

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