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Confused

(5 Posts)
fedupandnogin Sat 11-Mar-17 20:47:14

Split up with ExH over four years ago after he had an affair. Immediately had a relationship with someone else who moved in with me in the house I bought after divorce. We had some good times but there were some financial issues and in the end I asked him to leave (we were together over three years). I think I've never stopped thinking about him though. Met someone else online. He was everything I would want in a man but something is missing. I constantly think back to my previous partner which his why I can't make things work with my new partner I think. I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking about my ex (we are still in contact) and it's stopping me moving on with my new partner.

jeaux90 Sat 11-Mar-17 20:55:58

I think you need some time out single for a while. After a succession of shit relationships staying single for 4 years was the best gift I gave myself. Get comfy in your own company, be with friends, be independant.

Xxx

fedupandnogin Sat 11-Mar-17 21:29:47

Thanks Jeaux. You might be right. But it's hard being on your own sometimes when everyone else is in relationships.

jeaux90 Sat 11-Mar-17 23:16:57

Ahhhh yes I know but it's very empowering to find happiness in your own company. Cut your own path for a while and I'll tell you what......You get so comfortable with it you get super fussy and more discerning about your next relationship. Do some new stuff, whatever that is, yoga, start running or doing something where you might meet different people. I did find the first 18 months or so quite up and down but then it was ace.

I met someone about 10 months ago. I was ready and it didn't feel like a compromise.

Xxxx

Kikikaakaa Sat 11-Mar-17 23:30:09

Agree with being single.
Sounds like you are looking for somewhat of a dream, it's maybe not driven by rational sense it's all driven by emotions and your inner needs (to be wanted, loved, provided for) which aren't bad things to want, but relationships aren't supposed to be the cliche of a lift raft floating in an ocean of loneliness they are nice little 2 person pedallo's on a lake wink

Be single, get to know yourself and What Truely makes you happy

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