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Advice for newly single?

(14 Posts)
GrandmaGotRunOverByAReindeer Sat 11-Mar-17 19:52:17

What advice would you give to someone just about to start being a single parent?

Toobloodytired Sat 11-Mar-17 19:57:09

Placemarking as I'd love to know this too.

Il be single & a single parent as of next month

Plentyoffishnets Sat 11-Mar-17 20:02:39

I have been one for 4 years now with next to no contact from kids dad.
The main thing I have learnt is to take care of yourself and to not worry about everything being perfect.
My house is not often clean and tidy as I don't bust a gut unless am really in the mood other than to keep it habitable /sanitary.
I could spend so much time doing that but choose to take time for myself to have baths, mums net,watch TV etc as if I get stressed or ill we would all suffer

GettingScaredNow Sat 11-Mar-17 20:15:55

Been single mum since July with 2 young dc.

I echo Plenty... the washing/cleaning can often wait.
As long as my flat is sanitary then I don't go as mad as I used to.

Tesco delivery. In my area the cheap slots are Wednesday afternoons. I will book them 2/3 weeks in advance to ensure I get the slots and then fill the basket over time, adapting it for the offers. I get the big bulky stuff delivered (washing powder, bottles, packets etc) and do fresh shopping as and when we need it.

Don't beat yourself up for using whatever it takes to get by. Mine get iPads more then I care to admit.

How old are you dc?

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sat 11-Mar-17 20:20:18

Keep on top of your finances - much less stressful knowing no nasty bills coming through the door. . Double check you are getting any financial help you may be entitled to.
And remember happy dm =happy dc. So look after yourself.

SimonSmithsAmazingDancingBear Sat 11-Mar-17 20:25:01

Online shopping.
Make time for yourself - don't let yourself fall into a self indulgent pity party (that bit's hard, but it's really important).
Treat it as an adventure.
Don't think about what 'he' is doing/getting up to.
Or the fact you're doing the lion's share of everything.
Meal plan.
Batch cook.
Have fun!

jeaux90 Sat 11-Mar-17 20:49:31

Single mum 6 years.

Yes to what people say here.

Stay on top of your finances, priorities go to kids and work. If the house is messy so what. Make sure you are kind to yourself and don't say yes to anything you don't want to do/that will burden you.

Xxx

jeaux90 Sat 11-Mar-17 20:52:47

Yes to the poster that talked about iPads mine does too and probably more TV than is ideal but this is mainly on a Saturday morning so I can relax and drink coffee grin

Mines 8 so I would also say if yours is very young then co-sleeping worked for me. Maximised my sleep and if you work full time it's a biggy!

Sleep routines are important, make sure you get time to yourself every night.

Mof4boys Sat 11-Mar-17 20:56:43

Good luck it's looking like I will be a single mum of 4. I'm scared about money and work and having time for myself. Also about if I could possibly meet someone to treat me and my kids the way we should with love and care. I will be following any tips people can give.

Marmalade85 Sat 11-Mar-17 21:22:20

See what benefits are entitled to you and enjoy not having to argue over every tiny thing.

GettingScaredNow Sat 11-Mar-17 22:03:40

And...
There is no shame in it!

I found the school yard hard at first.
All those happily married mums, I felt like I was different.
However, a few months later I have several new friends who don't view me any differently. So keep your chin up, your not a failure whatever the reason your single

Kikikaakaa Sat 11-Mar-17 23:07:39

Dont take offence to any of these that seem common sense but IMO single mums can be a little vulnerable. 8 years for me...

Don't rush into the arms of the first man who makes you feel good.
Be cautious about who you let into your children's lives and how quickly
If you have FWB, its highly likely you will want more from them
Invest heavily in your friendships
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks about your situation
Try to stay amicable with ex as much as is possible for the sake of the kids, even if a mega twat who gives you £5 a week maintence

BoringUsername17 Sun 12-Mar-17 18:39:07

I'd be interested to know how other single parents manage on weekends. I can manage in the week but It feels like the world is full of happy 2 parent families at weekends. I have a 6 yo DD who needs constant entertaining and the iPad only goes so far..

GettingScaredNow Sun 12-Mar-17 19:13:40

I wonder if it depends on why your single as to whether the weekends are tough.
I often get involved with married friends plans, and it doesn't bother me or them. I am single after a very abusive marriage and an in that phase of being happily single and so the happily married families don't bother me yet

The weekends are hard work. I've got dd 4.7 and ds 2.6.
Dd does lots of craft/Lego type stuff. Ds needs more close attention (speech delay). It is exhausting.
I do have a couple of single mum friends who I find are often freer on weekends then the married friends.

Local parks always serve well. But I do get that my 2 have each other to play with. Whilst 2 young dc is stupidly hard work, it has its advantages. I can imagine having just one child can become suffocating and lonely at times, for you both.

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