Not sure if I am depressed? Lonely? Emotionaly numb?

[sparkle00]

Not sure if i have crashed and burned!
Does anyone ever feel emotionless? Like you're going through each day, doing what you're supposed to, but you have no feeling. I'm not sad but I'm not happy. Hate admitting that as in my job I see sadness every day. My head just feels numb. I can't plan forward. I don't cry. I don't laugh. I don't have friends just work colleagues but I'm not upset by this (this used to upset me up until a couple of months ago) I'm a single mum. I don't want to date, I have no interest at all (I was planning on Internet dating after being single for so long). I have no interest in looking nice anymore.
The only way I can explain it is I'm just numb. Never ever felt anything like it in my life. It's been a struggle over the years but I've always had hope. I can't find it anymore. I don't know what's happening to me?

[NotTheFordType]

What you describe is commonly described by psychiatrists as "flat affect"

Have you seen your gp?

[sparkle00]

Thankyou. Is it a sign of depression?
I haven't, no.

[SylviasDaughter]

How old are you OP? Sounds like depression or, depending on your age, peri/menopause/hormonal.

[sparkle00]

I am 40. I'm bizarrely studying mental health nursing and questioning my own.
I'm motivated and eating and drinking. It's really strange. It's like there is nothing there. I usually get excited about a hot bubble bath and I was lead there in the bath this evening not sad just not happy. It's so hard to explain.

[theansweris42]

ford isn't flat affect how someone appears to be not necessarily how they feel inside?

[theansweris42]

OP have you had some big life event recently?

[sparkle00]

theansweris42 - I have had many struggles and always always tried to stay positive. Always wanted to plan, make goals. I think or always have thought, having a plan keeps you motivated. Recently, it was like I crashed and burned (posted on here). My card declined at a petrol station along side a couple of minor issues that day.It's like I have given up not by choice it's my mind that has. Usually I can dust myself off and carry on. Something usually triggers me to. I know it sounds so strange but I literally feel it numb.

[theansweris42]

Hmm. If I'm last few days I'm thinking it may be a way of coping.
Our brains are flipping complex.
If you are (sort of) okay and coping I think go with it.
I've had some traumas, now taking a very small dose anti depressants and feel,like you, numb.
It's okay. It's not forever.

[sparkle00]

I have been reading up on it and I read exactly that.
I am 'ok'! I was a little worried as it's awful feeling nothing. It's like you are just existing!
Thankyou. I really hope it's not for much longer.

[scoobydoo1971]

So sorry you feel this way. Have you taken the Goldberg Depression test online (you can google it), as you can see if you meet the criteria for clinical depression there. GP's commonly use this test as well when consulting with patients. Lots of treatment options and counselling available, off-line and online. I wonder if you have some physical health issues going on? Personally I do, including anaemia which makes me feel awful and flat like you describe. Thyroid trouble can also make you feel down and tired, and not interested in life.

[theansweris42]

OP I reckon ride it out x

[DonaldStott]

I felt like you did a few years ago. I'm not sure if it was a form of depression, but when I look back now, which I can do and have a bit of perspective about it, I would say I was depressed, but obviously not clinically.

My sister described me as I seemed to have a swinging brick for a heart.

I was extremely unsatisfied with my life. Problems with marriage, job was shit. Just had this overwhelming feeling of 'there's got to be more to life than this'.

I was unintentionally rude to very close family and friends.

All I knew was that I loved my dd and everything else paled into insignificance.

Focussed on 'being a mum', getting through each day, and that was it.

It came to a head one day when I told my dh our marriage was dead.

He begged me to go for counselling and I did and it turned my life around.

Now I am happy. Still with dh, whom I love so much and it was a very strange phase, which when I look back now, built up over a number of years. It wasn't just like I woke up one day and felt like that.

Hope I am making sense OP

[floatingfrog]

I feel the same. I think it is stress over a long period and now just numbness. It is like my mind has checked out. I can't even bring myself to visit the GP as I don't want antidepressants. Not sure what the answer is really.

[sparkle00]

Scotby - I will have a little look. I was wondering about my physical too as it's such a strange feeling. I was thinking about seeing my counselling service at uni.

theansweris42 - I'm going to see how I go. Not sure if I need something to help.

Donald - glad you came out of it the other side. It's awful but I'm not crying to show how awful. I'm even up ready for my early shift. Just feeling completely numb. Not excited that it's Saturday and I have the day off tomorrow. It's so so strange. I would like to see a councillor, just can't afford one. Maybe my gp may recommend one but I will be on a waiting list most probably.

floating - it's awful isn't it? ! I don't want to either. Not that I don't think they can help some people find the motivation and it can clear your head to think straight. I feel I have that. I can't bring myself to either. Wanted to post on here to talk about it. I think it's stress now too.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I have similar from time to time, except I'm not completely emotionless - but the only emotion I can register or experience is some variation of anger, from mild irritation to incandescent rage. Nothing else.

I did go to the GP over this, and she thought it might be a sign of depression, but mild - so she started me on St John's Wort (pharmaceutical grade) to see if it helped. I have to say, it did, so I didn't try anything else. It comes and goes now - but if it lasts for more than a few weeks, I'd go back to the GP about it.

[Userone1]

www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms/emotions-feel-numb.shtml

Anxiety/stress maybe?

[Imi22sleeping]

This is me.

[theworriedone]

I've had this feeling before and hated it. It made me feel annoyed with myself as i was emotionless about things I was usually passionate about ( for instance I could watch awful stories on the news and it not affect me in any way at all - I would normally have been very upset)

I just didn't feel like me and felt angry about that, but it passed over in time. I've had a couple of dips since, but they don't last long I think due to me learning not to beat myself up over them

[sparkle00]

Glad you're feeling better Thumb. I have heard of that.

Thanks for the link user. I will have a little read on my break. I'm thinking it's been stress then like a coping mechanism maybe? My brain trying to give me a rest maybe. Really not sure.

I'm hoping it will pass. I am concerned it maybe a break down. That's why I posted. It's been a battle over the years. Always dusted myself off and learnt from it. Always shed a tear. Felt something. Felt hope. Made a plan. This time is odd.

Thankyou all

[SylviasDaughter]

I've been feeling the same, but am definitely peri-, which is why I asked. So there's a hormonal component, but I too have been stressed/anxious pretty much for a decade (a plethora of "life events") and just got on with shit (without really dealing with any of it fully and emotionally. Practically I was the Queen Of Coping).

When I started to experience what you've described I went to the GP who said they tend to suggest counselling for anxiety and meds for depression. I hear you, it's as if my reserve tank's been emptied and I feel completely unlike "me". Just flat, numb and even the concern that I'm not getting pleasure from things I used to is more of a shrug and a "meh". I'm hopeful I'll find the right mix of holistic and conventional medicine (though I'm reluctant with the latter) to get some balance and the real "me" back.

I hope you find what you need sparkle

[Semaphorically]

I feel like this often. I'm not sure what the cause is. Some days I feel like I'm wading through treacle all day, going through the motions. I know that I feel better if I sleep enough, and supplement both vitamin d and vitamin b complex, although I don't know why that helps.

I hope you feel better soon, OP.

[rumred]

I can sympathise too. I'm on ads after a few years of various shitty things.
Part of me thinks it's a natural reaction to how awful many things are. Getting older you see the world differently. You're on the last lap.
Oh dear. They ads aren't working very well are they?

[Kikikaakaa]

This happened to me after I had the mirena cool put in. It was like depression but I wasn't depressed. It was just a void. Eventually it did pass but I had to really try to fight it in little ways every day. I also did tell close family what was happening and they helped me. Do you have anyone to talk to?

[sparkle00]

Sylvia - I feel exactly that. Thankyou and I hope the same for you too. It's helped sharing on here.

Sema - Thankyou!

Rumred - Do you find they are helping slightly?

Kikik - I can't talk to anyone about it. I have tried but it's been shrugged off by the folks. It's not been a great upbringing for me so I tend to get on with life with me and my dd's. I don't have any friends unfortunately, just people I work with. It's a difficult subject to talk about.

[rumred]

Hi sparkle I think they help a little. i started on amitriptyline at new year and they seemed to lift my mood as well as help with pain- which is what they were prescribed for

I have some major life changes in progress at the moment so I guess meds will only help so much- I need to move onto the next stage of my life before I can feel better generally.

hopefully your feelings will pass with time= are you looking at your life and what you want from it? are you on the right course for you? mental health is so bloody complex and difficult to understand- our own and others. perhaps your course is raising issues for you and you are not facing them? it might be none of this of course, but worth looking a bit deeper at possibly. also can you access counselling through college or work? I always find talking stuff through useful