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Finding it all too much

(8 Posts)
hickorydickorynurseryrhyme Fri 10-Mar-17 18:11:41

Life is just really stressing me out at the minute. I have Dc in Reception and a 2 year old.
I'm a SAHM. 2 year old goes to nursery sometimes.
They are both so demanding. 2 year old especially wants me all the time and wakes up for milk still in the night.
Me and my DH just don't have a relationship at the mo. Last time we had sex was last year!
Fed up of washing, housework etc. Am so bored.
DC 1 doesn't listen to me. DH works long hours. We just don't have time for each other. When the kids have gone to bed I'm tired I just wanna go to sleep.
No family to help really. Sorry feeling sorry for myself.

category12 Fri 10-Mar-17 18:45:00

It gets better. The very young children years can be a slog and a grind, especially if you have little support.

Maybe being a sahm isn't for you, and you would benefit from getting a job? Maybe your DH could think about different ways of working to end up with a better life balance?

Notonthestairs Fri 10-Mar-17 20:09:48

Category is right - it does get better. Those early years (which I know are supposed to be oh so special) were a grind of enormous proportions. You really, really aren't alone.
Do you do housework when your youngest is in nursery? If so stop! Do something that's just good for you, anything that makes you feel better. Doesn't matter what it is (box sets, Netflix, learning about middle eastern politics).
I signed up for an evening class which was crazy because my youngest is autistic and woke every night at 1am for 2 hours plus so I was beyond knackered but I loved doing something that was just about me. It was also great to be around adults that weren't interested in my kids.
It kept me relatively sane.
Scrape back some time that's for you.
All parents go through this stage - there no doubt that it's shit. But your 2 year old will mature (I know it can't come quick enough right now) and it will ease. Meantime prioritise yourself in whatever way is practical.

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme Fri 10-Mar-17 21:11:34

Thanks for your replies. I do try to take time for myself. I love a good drama.
I've been thinking about getting a job but I don't have a career. My DH is the one with the career and is a partner. I'm the one who does schoolrun every day. I sshouldn't complain I know I'm very lucky that I don't NEED to work I just get a bit lonely sometimes. I get out quite a bit but still feel lonely.

category12 Sat 11-Mar-17 13:58:04

You don't have to have a career - it's OK to just get a job that isn't going anywhere much smile. If that's what you want.

You could do some volunteering, you could study, you could pick up some part-time hours. Or indeed just use what time you can scrape for yourself for doing something you enjoy.

No point thinking to yourself you should count yourself lucky to be able to stay home if it doesn't actually make you happy and you're drowning in monotony. It's OK to have something for yourself. It's OK to BE yourself, not just mummy mummy mummy and wife.

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme Sat 11-Mar-17 15:36:08

Thanks category

Molly333 Sat 11-Mar-17 22:35:03

I think in the situation much first port of call would be to get help. Do you hv a cleaner ? Get one also look at upping nursery and toddler groups . Be as proactive as you can even if monies an issue this is probably the thing that will help you most , two young children is not to be underestimated x

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme Mon 13-Mar-17 12:43:09

Yes do have a cleaner which helps. Feeling a little brighter. Dh and I finally had sex last night for the first time since last year.

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