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Relationships

First date...

15 replies

BackInBlack78 · 10/03/2017 17:00

Ok just after some advice.

Been asked on a date, I've not long got rid of my alcoholic partner so feelings and confidence are still a little tender. This date is with a guy I've known for about 11 years so not a total stranger, which I'm happier about.

We're going to a show tomorrow so I asked him today if I should get tickets as it's cheaper to buy advance rather than pay on the door - but he already has them. I'm confused about dating etiquette, do I offer him the money for the ticket or do I instead buy breakfast/dinner or something? (We'll be there from around 9am-5pm and he's picking me up at 7am).

I'm so nervous, please put me at ease!!!!

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RagingSquirrel · 10/03/2017 17:14

I think ask him 'so how much do I owe you for my ticket?' . If he's already bought them I'm guessing he doesn't expect payment. If that's the case I'd accept graciously, thank him and tell him that I owed him a pre/post show drink (and follow through with that).

Good luck, hope it goes well!

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RagingSquirrel · 10/03/2017 17:15

Sorry, just read the bit about the timings of it - in which case I'd offer to shout breakfast or lunch or whenever you first sit down to eat!

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BackInBlack78 · 10/03/2017 17:29

Thanks Raging! I'm just so nervous as never been on a first date in about 6 years, goalposts have changed so much!

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PaterPower · 10/03/2017 17:58

As Raging said. Good luck and hope you really enjoy the show and the date.

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Ellisandra · 10/03/2017 18:05

Agree with Raging just text to ask what you owe, and accept if he says nothing.
I would definitely make your "thanks I'll buy you..." end breakfast or lunch. Don't commit to anything after the show until you know how it's gone Grin (although as it's someone you know maybe that's OK)

Have fun! Flowers

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BackInBlack78 · 10/03/2017 18:11

I can't really ask what I owe as he knows I've been online and know how much the tickets cost...! Plus he's funding the petrol for a 4 hour round trip, don't want to seem grabby if that makes sense? I'd have preferred to get the tickets myself if he was funding petrol... Confused

Am I overthinking this?

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robinia · 10/03/2017 19:32

Yes! You can still ask what you owe. And if he says nothing, then you get the first meal.

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Dieu · 10/03/2017 19:40

All this talk of money/cheap tickets/petrol money etc is a bit unbecoming for a first date. I realise it's a consideration, but still ...
Just relax and enjoy. There will be opportunity for you, on the night or in future, to pay your way.

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BackInBlack78 · 10/03/2017 19:44

Dieu I think that's what's stressing me, I don't want to blurt any of that out and get a balance between grabby or too independent! He should know me already though...!

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Moanyoldcow · 10/03/2017 19:53

You know how much the tickets are, just get the cash out and say 'here's the money for my ticket'. If he refuses to take it you can thank him and say you'll buy a nice breakfast and lunch etc.

Have a lovely time!

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BackInBlack78 · 10/03/2017 22:07

Thank you Moany! Getting nervous now!

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Dieu · 11/03/2017 09:48

Good luck for today! Hope it goes well Smile

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KinkyAfro · 11/03/2017 14:08

Just say to him when you're having lunch or whatever "I'll get this" rather than offering him money

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peppatax · 11/03/2017 15:45

Hope it's going well OP - I don't think he'd have bought the tickets and funding the travel if he didn't want to. I second the offering to buy lunch or something so hope you got the opportunity!!

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Hacpac · 11/03/2017 15:55

Personally I wouldn't even think about it. If he has asked you to go and bought tickets, he won't be expecting you to pay. Just relax, enjoy the day and date and offer to buy him lunch or something.

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