Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

abuse?

(9 Posts)
herwegoagain123 Thu 09-Mar-17 22:53:16

H just got in and I was watching tv on my own. He is doing the shopping and is on a diet so there's no food.
So I said why have you stopped buying things I can make sandwiches with?
He said all irritated that he doesn't want to buy any as it will get wasted.
He earns a lot of money and I want to make sandwiches.
I said why are you being like that? He then denied saying he had said it in the nastiest condescending way and kept following me as I tried to get away. I insisted he had because he did. So he went on and on and on saying it was the way I had asked him. Couldn't I be nice?
He then nastily that he wouldn't be there in the morning so id be late for work. FFS
His tone was way over the top and slightly menacing.
I said finished and turned my back to get him out of the room.
What the fuck?

herwegoagain123 Thu 09-Mar-17 22:56:35

He also said I was ducking responsibility and should get it myself. Which of course I can its just that was what he liked doing. Just don't get the venom.

fusspot66 Fri 10-Mar-17 07:03:49

How are you this morning? Are you financially reliant on him? Is he often aggressive? Is he Hangry on his diet. Why would you be late for work without him? Do you share a car? Lots of qiestions sorry, but hoping to bump your post, too.
I must get going now or I will be late.

plainjanine Fri 10-Mar-17 12:10:28

From what you have described, his reaction seems out of proportion to the problem. And it's not good that he starts off trying to gaslight you: telling you he didn't say something when you both know he did. That is bullying and controlling, so yes, that is abusive.

If this is new behaviour, has he started going to the gym lately with the dieting? Sounds like it could be roid rage, but this is a complete guess and quite a jump.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 10-Mar-17 13:43:50

It doesn't sound very nice behaviour.
Is this an isolated incident?
Has he done similar before?
He's losing weight then?
Anything else? Phone attached to him at all times?
Mentionitis?
New clothes?
New aftershave?
Going to the gym more?

Men can get like this when they are feeling guilty for something!

herwegoagain123 Fri 10-Mar-17 19:28:14

yes he has form for cheating. Got in from work and we were browsing as I'm doing up the house. I showed him a photo of a sitting room but he went on about the hall and to get rid of my furniture. So I said but we are talking about the lounge.
Well off he went again about how I was controlling him and like Hitler?
WTF. Ranting about how I never talked nicely to him. Said women should be gentle. WTF.
so told him to do one if he thinks that. Said he was no fucking gentleman. Has he lost the plot. This over reaction when he think ive spoken out of turn is a recurring theme.

Hermonie2016 Fri 10-Mar-17 19:32:33

Does he ever apologise or is it always your fault?

When did he cheat?

herwegoagain123 Fri 10-Mar-17 19:34:27

No nothing is ever his fault ever. He cheated 5 years ago but it was for 10 years. I know.

herwegoagain123 Fri 10-Mar-17 19:35:18

He blamed me for it for years was nightmare. Said I was frigid. Hello.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now