Please can I have perspective on these texts from H

[ChangedForAReason]

Hi. Name changed.

Not a loaded question I just need outside perspective on the way my H talks to me (this is common but not all the time).

Thanks in advance.

[Ellisandra]

I would be "literally allergic" to any arsehole that spoke to me like that

[TreeTop7]

That's very unpleasant language and sentiment.

[Klaphat]

It sounds like he's reached his compassion/respect limit - whether there's an excuse or not, that doesn't bode well for your relationship. I would be evaluating whether there was anything to save in the relationship, or whether it was time to split.

[PolkadotPony]

I'd tell him to fuck off and I'd listen when he wasn't being a dick, 'literally'.

[AnyFucker]

Your husband is an abusive prick and I would not tolerate anyone addressing me in that manner.

[Ferrisday]

Nah
Does he reserve this abuse for text or talk to you like this in real life?

[PolkadotPony]

I really don't like the threat there, in the second message, aside from everything else.

Have you argued about tidiness a lot?

[Ginandpanic]

Have you left a load of dog poo and festering food waste in a cupboard?!

He's obviously upset about mess, and he may have grounds for that, however his text is horrible.

My dh and I are both pretty straight with each other but I'd be horrified if I got that text.

The ' your husband' comment seems a bit odd, almost like he means ' your lord and master' otherwisdwhy duesnt he just say ' me' ?

I'd be tempted to take him up in his ku d offer op.

[pocketsaviour]

I'd tell him to look up "literally" in the dictionary, and then please give me a letter from the doctor who diagnosed him with an allergy.

[inkydinky]

Your marriage is over surely? Zero respect there. And threatening to seek custody of children for failure to clean out a cupboard? Clearly there's a bigger picture here but whatever it is the upshot is the same. He doesn't appear to like you very much. I'd be walking.

[Ginandpanic]

Kind offer

[category12]

Are you his maid?

[ijustdontknowanymore]

That is AWFUL!!!

[DonaldStott]

Twat

[MadMags]

Tell him he's as thick as shit because he doesn't know what literally means.

[kittybiscuits]

I would think 'Wow, what a complete prick'

[countrygirl55]

He's a prick. But I did enjoy the irony of someone asking if you needed things "spelt out" to you within a text so loaded with spelling and grammatical errors that it's made my teeth itch. Because I am a passive-aggressive bastard, I would send him the same text back, with all of the errors corrected in capital letters.

[SandyY2K]

With only one side of the situation, he seems to be exasperated with the state of the place, rightly or wrongly. I don't know if it's justified or not, that kind of talk from him isn't helpful in any way.

He clearly thinks it's your duty to tidy up.

[ChangedForAReason]

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. I was questioning whether this was OK. For context, the understairs cupboard was full of plastic bags, wellies, a 6 litre bottle of mineral water, a large cardboard box and a bag of clothes for charity.

I am messy, but I genuinely think I've retained enough perspective in that area to know I'm not chronically so, nor dirty. The other rant yesterday was that when the indoor recycling is full I sometimes put clean recyclables on top until I next go to the outside bin. He doesn't respect me at all.

[LondonStill83]

To be fair I think we need to see your communications and responses. Can you show the next part of the thread?

[intheknickersoftime]

All relationships have arguments about domestic habits. I would say this is different. The way he speaks to you shows he has no respect. It is abuse. I am guessing this happens a lot. He will fight for them in court? I'm sorry, he's just bang out of order. What a horrible text.

[ChangedForAReason]

London, there is no next part. How on earth would I formulate a reply to that?

[Obsidian77]

Horrible. I wouldn't put up with this. And I like the way it's your marriage, not "our marriage".
Tell him you'll make sure your next husband can spell properly.
Has he always spoken to you like this?

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

What countrygirl said, but more to the point why doesn't he keep it tidy himself? Why does he assume it should be your job? I wouldn't be putting up with that attitude tbh (and keep the copies in case you do need them to demonstrate his abuse in court...)

[intheknickersoftime]

Your cupboard under the stairs is exactly how it should be. A place for wellies on plastic bags. That is normal family life. I'm sorry you are living with such an abusive bastard.