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Please can I have perspective on these texts from H

(239 Posts)
ChangedForAReason Wed 08-Mar-17 18:42:53

Hi. Name changed.

Not a loaded question I just need outside perspective on the way my H talks to me (this is common but not all the time).

Thanks in advance.

Ellisandra Wed 08-Mar-17 18:44:51

I would be "literally allergic" to any arsehole that spoke to me like that shock

TreeTop7 Wed 08-Mar-17 18:45:57

That's very unpleasant language and sentiment.

Klaphat Wed 08-Mar-17 18:46:35

It sounds like he's reached his compassion/respect limit - whether there's an excuse or not, that doesn't bode well for your relationship. I would be evaluating whether there was anything to save in the relationship, or whether it was time to split.

PolkadotPony Wed 08-Mar-17 18:46:53

I'd tell him to fuck off and I'd listen when he wasn't being a dick, 'literally'.

AnyFucker Wed 08-Mar-17 18:47:28

Your husband is an abusive prick and I would not tolerate anyone addressing me in that manner.

Ferrisday Wed 08-Mar-17 18:47:57

Does he reserve this abuse for text or talk to you like this in real life?

PolkadotPony Wed 08-Mar-17 18:48:04

I really don't like the threat there, in the second message, aside from everything else.

Have you argued about tidiness a lot?

Ginandpanic Wed 08-Mar-17 18:48:11

Have you left a load of dog poo and festering food waste in a cupboard?!

He's obviously upset about mess, and he may have grounds for that, however his text is horrible.

My dh and I are both pretty straight with each other but I'd be horrified if I got that text.

The ' your husband' comment seems a bit odd, almost like he means ' your lord and master' otherwisdwhy duesnt he just say ' me' ?

I'd be tempted to take him up in his ku d offer op.

pocketsaviour Wed 08-Mar-17 18:48:16

I'd tell him to look up "literally" in the dictionary, and then please give me a letter from the doctor who diagnosed him with an allergy.

inkydinky Wed 08-Mar-17 18:48:29

Your marriage is over surely? Zero respect there. And threatening to seek custody of children for failure to clean out a cupboard? Clearly there's a bigger picture here but whatever it is the upshot is the same. He doesn't appear to like you very much. I'd be walking.

Ginandpanic Wed 08-Mar-17 18:48:36

Kind offer

category12 Wed 08-Mar-17 18:48:37

Are you his maid?

ijustdontknowanymore Wed 08-Mar-17 18:49:28

That is AWFUL!!!

DonaldStott Wed 08-Mar-17 18:51:21


MadMags Wed 08-Mar-17 18:51:34

Tell him he's as thick as shit because he doesn't know what literally means.

kittybiscuits Wed 08-Mar-17 18:51:48

I would think 'Wow, what a complete prick'

countrygirl55 Wed 08-Mar-17 18:52:01

He's a prick. But I did enjoy the irony of someone asking if you needed things "spelt out" to you within a text so loaded with spelling and grammatical errors that it's made my teeth itch. Because I am a passive-aggressive bastard, I would send him the same text back, with all of the errors corrected in capital letters.

SandyY2K Wed 08-Mar-17 18:52:29

With only one side of the situation, he seems to be exasperated with the state of the place, rightly or wrongly. I don't know if it's justified or not, that kind of talk from him isn't helpful in any way.

He clearly thinks it's your duty to tidy up.

ChangedForAReason Wed 08-Mar-17 18:54:08

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. I was questioning whether this was OK. For context, the understairs cupboard was full of plastic bags, wellies, a 6 litre bottle of mineral water, a large cardboard box and a bag of clothes for charity.

I am messy, but I genuinely think I've retained enough perspective in that area to know I'm not chronically so, nor dirty. The other rant yesterday was that when the indoor recycling is full I sometimes put clean recyclables on top until I next go to the outside bin. He doesn't respect me at all.

LondonStill83 Wed 08-Mar-17 18:54:24

To be fair I think we need to see your communications and responses. Can you show the next part of the thread?

intheknickersoftime Wed 08-Mar-17 18:54:58

All relationships have arguments about domestic habits. I would say this is different. The way he speaks to you shows he has no respect. It is abuse. I am guessing this happens a lot. He will fight for them in court? I'm sorry, he's just bang out of order. What a horrible text.

ChangedForAReason Wed 08-Mar-17 18:55:39

London, there is no next part. How on earth would I formulate a reply to that?

Obsidian77 Wed 08-Mar-17 18:56:24

Horrible. I wouldn't put up with this. And I like the way it's your marriage, not "our marriage".
Tell him you'll make sure your next husband can spell properly.
Has he always spoken to you like this?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Wed 08-Mar-17 18:57:01

What countrygirl said, but more to the point why doesn't he keep it tidy himself? Why does he assume it should be your job? I wouldn't be putting up with that attitude tbh (and keep the copies in case you do need them to demonstrate his abuse in court...)

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