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3 Way Conversations - I'm always left out

(4 Posts)
miniaturecat Wed 08-Mar-17 09:08:48

I'm probably being unreasonable but whenever there is a 3 way conversation I always end up being the person left out whilst the other two chat away to each other.

The main thing that bothers me though is if I ever see a friend and they are chatting to someone else (mainly on the school run), there is no way that anyone would ever even attempt to include me in the conversation. I just get a quick, smile-less acknowledgement or 'hi' and then they turn back to the other person. However if I am having a conversation with any friends and a third person walks past or comes to stand near us the friend will greet them like a long lost hero and they will be welcomed into the conversation and actively brought into it by whichever friend I am talking to.

I think what is upsetting me is a)no one ever is pleased enough to see me to want to welcome me into an existing conversation and b)no one seems to value my company or conversation in the same way and are happy to bring another person into any conversation with me.

It's just happened this morning again at the school run. Someone who I thought was a good friend has done this a lot to me lately and I feel a bit upset.

ocelot7 Wed 08-Mar-17 09:18:21

I hated standing about in the playground! Its a certain kind of culture which echoes some of the not so nice stuff that goes on in school... I was glad to rush off to work.
You are feeling a bit self conscious because you are forced into that situation every day. In time (& probably elsewhere) you will find people who are equally pleased to see you. I wouldn't even want to be friends with the playground queens but at the time they made me self conscious in the same way.

miniaturecat Wed 08-Mar-17 09:21:58

Even people who I am friends with do it to me, I think that's one of the things I find most upsetting.

ocelot7 Wed 08-Mar-17 09:38:41

Is it possible that the way you are feeling generally at the moment is making this seem worse? Are you feeling a bit isolated as a parent of a young child? Could you eg volunteer in a charity shop one half day for some adult interaction?

People butt into conversations (sometimes rudely!) & we are not all adept at including everyone. Sometimes the third person takes over the conversation but the important thing is not to let it get you down. Better to seek out nicer friends! Look around the playground - are there others looking uncertain? Why not chat to them & make them feel included.

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