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Any advice?

(14 Posts)
Bluesue26 Tue 07-Mar-17 16:00:36

Best friend tells me the other day she has met someone. She's been on her own for a while with 4 children so I'm excited to hear this. She tells me new guy is separated and they've been seeing each other about 6 weeks. I ask how long he's been separated for and it turns out he'd split up with his wife only 3 weeks prior to meeting my friend. To make it clear friend was never an OW. The reason I'm here is I'm extremely sceptical about this man's intentions. Who jumps into a relationship within weeks of their marriage breaking down? I don't want friend to get hurt but she seems blinkered. Anyone know of anybody who's been in a similar situation? I will support friend no matter what but I'm scared for her.

MrsBertBibby Tue 07-Mar-17 16:19:32

Marriages break down over long periods. Often people have been out of the marriage long before the actual split.

Bluesue26 Tue 07-Mar-17 16:27:43

You're right Bert but I'm not sure that's the case here. His ex wife seems to be extremely angry and causing issues with regards to contact with his children. That makes me wonder.

wrongnumberEE Tue 07-Mar-17 16:33:04

I met DP two weeks after separating from exH.

My marriage had been dead for years so it wasn't like I had only just fallen out of love with exH and decided to leave him straight away.

I was a bit excited about dating again after 10 years but never in a million years thought the first man I'd meet would turn out to be the love of my life. We've been together around 18 months now.

These things happen.

Bluesue26 Tue 07-Mar-17 16:40:24

Fair enough wrong. Maybe I'm concerned over nothing. I'd like nothing more for it to work out for her.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 07-Mar-17 16:55:29

I would be concerned too.
It's very soon after.
I'm afraid your DF may turn out to be his rebound girl.
Maybe not but it's very likely.
Just be there for her.

Bluesue26 Tue 07-Mar-17 17:10:22

Hells, that's my main concern. It's not clear why he split with his wife. Apparently his children are devestated and the ex keeps putting them on the phone to him. It all sounds very raw. I've not mentioned my concerns to her and won't.

Iusedtobedontcall Tue 07-Mar-17 17:11:38

I met my ex three months after he split with his wife. Yep I was his rebound girl. I discovered after that he would've got back with her had she accepted him.

BoringUsername17 Tue 07-Mar-17 17:17:36

Sounds like my ex. He met his new gf 5 weeks after we'd agreed to end a 20 year marriage. He's been seeing her for 3 months now and they are planning to go on holiday this summer with all the kids.
I'm still reeling from the split but he's already replaced me.

BoringUsername17 Tue 07-Mar-17 17:23:44

Anyway, I meant to say. Be there for your friend but don't be judgemental. It doesn't sound great but you never know it might work out. And if not she will need a good friend!

Kikikaakaa Tue 07-Mar-17 17:41:10

I met mine only a few months after his split and I was very wary for a long time. In the end I had to ask him if he felt ready as I just had to be sure. He was very reassuring and nothing indicates otherwise but he doesn't have all these ex issues. I would be wary for her, she could be a rebound

Bluesue26 Tue 07-Mar-17 18:24:43

After 3 weeks myself and exh were still trying to sort through access to the kids. Neither one of us were thinking about another relationship. We were both still really hurting. I suppose it's not the same for everyone though. I reckon a big part of this will be why they split.

SandyY2K Tue 07-Mar-17 18:33:19

Sounds like too much drama with the Ex putting the kids on the phone. Does she really need that hassle with 4 kids as well.

MatildaTheCat Tue 07-Mar-17 19:41:13

If she's been single for a while just gently advise her to take things slowly as she gets to know him. It's obviously quite a complicated situation with several children involved.

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