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odd behaviour by ex husband

(9 Posts)
pourjudgment Tue 07-Mar-17 09:47:14


Background - we divorced last year after a rock seven year marriage. He's been serving time since 2015 for fraud. We have two children - 6 and 4.

He now has day release and we last saw him at Christmas. Next visit due in a couple of weeks.

A few days ago my mum told me my son (6) tried to show her his "bits" and pull the skin back "like daddy's" (he's curcumsized). My mum got the impression from the detail my son gave that he'd been given some sort of "demonstration" of this by my ex h.

I sent a text to ex h saying I don't know what had happened but going by the detail my son knew he'd clearly showed him his "bits" in detail. I said this was completely inappropriate, unecessary and poor judgment.

His reply concerns me.

He said in summary that my son has known all about his circumsivion "since he was 2" - what?! Why firstly, and how?! What possible interest would a two year old have?

He said "you'll remember at Christmas when you were chatting to X and D'S was asking about the difference between boy/girl bits" - no I don't remember, but he always had a habit of telling me what I remember...

Then he said "...and I took them to the toilet". What?! To show him his???? There is no further explanation.

He then says he'll "be more discreet" and "hope that works for me". Hope it works for me?! What is that supposed to mean??

Am I overreacting???? Does this sound more sinister than it first appears to anyone???

You have to consider the context of ex h bring a manipulative (proven) liar. He is a narcissist of the highest order with a front like you wouldn't believe. I have finally finally broken free of his vice grip but I need a second opinion on this one.

If it helps, my mum is v v concerned although struggling to believe it is anything more sinister than shockingly poor judgment.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 07-Mar-17 09:52:17

Couldn't it simply be that they've been to the toilet together at some point and your son has not vied he looks different to his dad so asked why and your ex explained it to him?! confused Why do you immediately assume something sinister?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 07-Mar-17 09:53:20

My DP is circumcised, our son is not. We are fully expecting the same to happen on earth he is old enough to notice.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 07-Mar-17 09:53:39

*once, not on earth!

c3pu Tue 07-Mar-17 09:56:41

Sounds pretty innocent unless there's some backstory or other information?

Blobby10 Tue 07-Mar-17 10:23:44

My husband showed eldest DS how to clean his willy when he was about 4 and of course, his younger brother wanted to do it as well when he saw his big brother doing it. Just part of being a boy I think!

On a lighter note, I was so glad their father was there when eldest was playing with his willy one morning and got the foreskin stuck back - the end was blowing up like a balloon and i just couldn't touch it!! His dad sorted it in two ticks [laugh]

debbs77 Wed 08-Mar-17 21:05:35

Doesn't sound dodgy. I'd say it was good education!

scottishdiem Wed 08-Mar-17 21:43:20

Its a father son thing I thought? Maybe a little impromptu and not thought through entirely but nothing odd about it to be honest.

SandyY2K Wed 08-Mar-17 23:03:40

It's a difficult conversation to have via text TBH, because you aren't getting a proper answer from him.

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