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Separation but neither can move out!

(7 Posts)
FloatyFlo Sun 05-Mar-17 18:14:23

Just need a little reassurance/advice/others experience.

So me and dp have decided to separate. 9 years together, not married but two children.

Very amicable. We have just grown and drifted apart but life has been miserable together recently through the stress of trying to pretned and force something that just isn't there anymore. The split has been like a weight has lifted to be honest.

Problem is neither of us are in a position to move out rightaway. Will probably be a good couple of months still living together. Has anybody else found themselves in a similar position? How did you make it work? What was good/what was bad? Etc.

FloatyFlo Sun 05-Mar-17 23:28:43


StrongerSingle Mon 06-Mar-17 07:45:45

We lived like that for seven years!
We had to really. I couldn't afford my own place for me and dc and he wouldn't leave.
Pretty horrific now when I look back.
But it's over now, thankfully.
A few month for you will be hard but you'll get through it. Just plan for the future smile

cosytoaster Mon 06-Mar-17 07:52:12

I had to live for a year with my ex and it wasn't even an amicable split. Not sure I can give any tips but it was stressful. I guess it gives you time to plan finances and prepare your children so that it isn't a sudden shock. Not sure if it applies to you but I was able to claim Tax Credits as a single parent whilst still there - I wrote a letter outlining my circumstances and it was accepted.

UpYerGansey Mon 06-Mar-17 09:25:55

Yep. Doing that. It's not great. Manageable but quite stressful.

FloatyFlo Mon 06-Mar-17 14:07:29

So pleased to see some replies. It's a relief to know I'm not alone.

I just can't afford to move. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and I'm a full time student. He does work full time but is on a very low income and cannot afford to private rent. He wouldn't have enough to eat let alone pay all the bills and put money towards the children. He is looking at getting a house share but ideally with someone he knows/or another dad so he can have the kids at his.
But this is going to be a case of waiting for the right thing to come up. Moving in with family is not an option for either of us. And the council won't help, after all we are adequately housed.

So we are just a bit stuck really and not sure what to do. I would like to start moving forward with separating our finances. I don't want him to be paying for me. We are not a couple anymore. However I have no income other than student loan, and child tax credit. Can anyone offer any advice?

FloatyFlo Mon 06-Mar-17 14:10:31

Just to clarify, when I say have the kids at his I mean, (well, ideally, 50/50.) Some o the time. I don't mean that they would live with him full time.

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