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Am I being selfish?

(5 Posts)
wishesandkisses Sun 05-Mar-17 17:15:57

It's more of a vent than anything. Me and my partner have been together 5 years (since I was 18, he was 24) and have a 3 year old together. As always when we met it was exciting, we went places, were out every night and weekend etc. Then we became parents and as expected everything slowed down. Which at first I was fine with. But now it's too slow. We never go anywhere, or do anything spontaneous. If I want to go and do something I ask my best friend because it's such a hassle when I ask my OH cause he never wants to do anything, and when we do something he moans about it. My other half has got a chronic pain disorder which has flared up recently which means I do everything at the moment which I feel has brought me to writing this down on here. I probably am being selfish but I'm just so bored right now. If I talk to him about it it just result in an argument and I cry and say I'll adjust. I'm 23. Is this life now 😂

SoleBizzz Sun 05-Mar-17 17:17:51

Caring for the children and the house will get everyone doing it alone feeling down at some point.

wishesandkisses Sun 05-Mar-17 17:20:08

Just to add we both work full time and get 1 full day together which is a strain

Comeonmommy Sun 05-Mar-17 19:32:51

I have chronic pain and feel guilty all the time that I can't do trips out anymore without serious planning!!!! I can't work anymore but still have to plan resting and my meds to prepare for a day out. With chronic pain goes fatigue - it could be that your partner is just exhausted. Does he have access to a Pain Clinic at all? I know you've said when you try to talk it leads to arguments but have you been online to research what your partner has and how it effects him? If you are able to say I've been researching, I realise you must feel like, I want to be able to help you by....he may realise you really are trying to help and listen to him so he might open up a bit. The other downside to chronic pain is depression. I hope you are both able to find a way forward x

wishesandkisses Sun 05-Mar-17 23:21:36

That's part of the problemost comeonmummy. Everytime I suggest anything he says he doesn't want to do it and he can deal with it. It can get frustrating. X

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