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Leaving a relationship

(3 Posts)
shyturnip Sun 05-Mar-17 13:29:04

The number of times I've been here, it's not even pain I'm feeling, it's nostalgia. When am I going to meet the right man for me and recognise him?

So far, I've been in 3 LTR that ended because either they didn't want to get married or we were engaged and they had an affair.

Numerous flings, the last one having ended a few days ago. I thought he might be the one but unfortunately he didn't.

The common theme is that they were all, in one way or another, unavailable. Which makes sense as my father left soon after I was born.

I'm so tired of being attracted to the unavailable man. I feel what feels like the right feelings but then it turns out that yet again, I've mistaken rejection for love.

Sorry for the rant. Thank you for reading if you've got this far.

StumblyMonkey Sun 05-Mar-17 13:45:36

So sorry...I have been in this exact situation. Only ever interested in emotionally unavailable men...and to be honest, the more emotionally unavailable they were, the more attractive I found them.

I also have/had issues stemming back to my father....after some counselling I realised I was the one with commitment issues.

I would have sworn the opposite until I was blue in the face prior to counselling but that's what it turned out to be.

Have a look at the book 'Attachment' (I will find the details in a second). Due to my upbringing I had a combination of anxious and avoidant attachment styles.

After counselling I met my DP and we get married in December. I still have some commitment issues but at least I know how to work on/with them and they don't rule my choices any more flowers

noego Sun 05-Mar-17 14:00:57

So are you looking for a father figure? if you are, than that's dangerous and needs to be addressed. Seek some guidance from a therapist.

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