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Financial abuse or not?

(2 Posts)
lostfrequency Sun 05-Mar-17 11:30:09

Having seen a number of threads where the OPs partner is deemed to be 'financially abusing' them by managing the household finances I'm wondering if what I do is 'financial abuse'.

DH is terrible with money, I'm relatively sensible with it. I learnt early on that he will spend literally everything he has access to so I've always kept my finances separate from his. For context I earn around four times as much as he does. I pay the mortgage (which is in my name), for both cars, all the household bills and all the childcare costs (he used to contribute in childcare vouchers but can't get them in his current job so no longer contributes to the cost). I also pay for all family outings and holidays and everything DS needs.
He pays for the petrol he uses, nights out he has without me, his mobile phone bill, his debt management plan, clothes for himself and the occasional takeaway for us all. He does not have access to any of my earnings as I know he would fritter them away. I make the decisions regarding spending, and while he contributes to ideas of things we need or want to do, I make the final decision because I will be paying for it ultimately. He does not give me any money towards bills but does share childcare duties with me when one of us is not working and DS is not at his childminder.

Am I financially abusive?

MadeForThis Sun 05-Mar-17 11:50:03

I would say No.
if I was in a relationship with someone and they required a debt management plan they wouldn't have unlimited access to my wages either.
He pays no bills so has no need to spend your money.

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