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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Its over

48 replies

LovelyUnicorn83 · 05/03/2017 10:41

My partner of 3.5 years ended it with me last night because I dont want another baby

OP posts:

Report

SookiesSocks · 05/03/2017 10:43

I am sorry OP.

Is that the only reason?

LovelyUnicorn83 · 05/03/2017 10:45

I think so. We were going to ttc but i got cold feet so hes told me he cant see it lasting.

OP posts:

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/03/2017 10:47

Another? And you already have at least one? That's bizarre. I'm calling that bluff.

SookiesSocks · 05/03/2017 10:48

Its difficult because if one persons desire for another child is so strong it can lead to the end of the relationship as they will always resent the other person.

That said i think the first step would be counselling maybe not ending the relationship straight away. I suppose that does depend on if tge person sees the relationship as important or just a vehicle to have children.

LovelyUnicorn83 · 05/03/2017 10:48

I have 2 kids of my own. He doesnt have any. Its obviously a dealbreaker for him

OP posts:

KateDaniels2 · 05/03/2017 10:50

If he hasnt got any and wants kids, i think he has made the right decision.

If its a deal breaker its best to move on sooner rather than later.

SookiesSocks · 05/03/2017 10:50

Ahh ok so he has no children.
Did you say that having DC with him was something you wanted/led him to believe?

Why have you got cold feet?

Ellisandra · 05/03/2017 10:50

I'm sorry - it was clear from your other threads that you really liked him.
But it was also clear that you didn't want to have another child - so you've done the right thing, and looking back you'll be sure of that.
for the hard days until you get to that point.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 05/03/2017 10:53

This is the right decision for both of you. When dating i specifically didnt date men who did not have children as I was done having them.

Joysmum · 05/03/2017 10:53

Sounds like he's done the right thing. Better to end it now than give up his chance of being a biological father and resenting you for it. Especially given you were willing to TTC with him and have since changed your mind. Of course you're perfectly entitled to do that, but the agreement was changed and I'm glad he's being realistic.

LovelyUnicorn83 · 05/03/2017 10:53

Sookie he knew i was unsure and never led him to believe anything else. Ive already got 2 kids and im happy with my lot.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 05/03/2017 10:53

LovelyUnicorn83 · 05/03/2017 10:58

He stayed in his sisters last night. I imagine hes going to want to collect his stuff soon. DS is 14 he knows but DD doesnt she'll be devastated.

OP posts:

SookiesSocks · 05/03/2017 11:00

Unsure does leave the option for a yes. Which he was probably hoping for.
Not helped by the fact you agreed to ttc.

You cant blame him for making the choice when you knew he wanted DC but that does not mean it hurts any less OP.

You will get through this

LovelyUnicorn83 · 05/03/2017 11:05

OP posts:

THC63 · 05/03/2017 11:49

It's the right outcome for you both but it will take some time and pain to realise that.

LovelyUnicorn83 · 05/03/2017 21:13

Im just really sad. I havent told DD yet she just thinks hes staying at his sisters for a few days and coming back. She calls him dad shes going to be so upset. He texted me to come round tomorrow to talk but i dont see how things can change

OP posts:

tribpot · 05/03/2017 21:19

Unfortunately you want things which are mutually exclusive. There's no compromise here, and both of you are perfectly justified in wanting what you want.

It is time to let him move on and find someone else who does want kids. A very hard situation for you both, you have my sympathy.

LovelyUnicorn83 · 05/03/2017 21:30

OP posts:

TreeTop7 · 06/03/2017 00:40

I'm so sorry. He's done the right thing though.

The alternatives would be staying put and building up seething resentment towards you, or slyly looking for someone who's amenable to having babies whilst still with you, and then dumping you for her. He's definitely chosen the honourable route.

LovelyUnicorn83 · 06/03/2017 17:33

My DD keeps asking me where ex is. Ive told her hes at his sisters but she wants to know why! I dont know what to say to her

OP posts:

BlondeBecky1983 · 06/03/2017 18:39

As hard as it is, he has done the right thing. This is a huge deal breaker in a relationship if partners disagree. Hugs xx

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MoominMamma3 · 06/03/2017 21:00

So sorry to hear this OP, I read your last thread. Just big hugs to you

LovelyUnicorn83 · 12/03/2017 12:36

I got a positive pregnancy test this morning

OP posts:

RandomMess · 12/03/2017 12:40

Decide what you want to do, on your own.

Clearly you had decided you didn't want anymore DC, has anything really changed?

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