Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Its over

(49 Posts)
LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:41:08

My partner of 3.5 years ended it with me last night because I dont want another babysad

SookiesSocks Sun 05-Mar-17 10:43:34

I am sorry OP.

Is that the only reason?

LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:45:47

I think so. We were going to ttc but i got cold feet so hes told me he cant see it lasting.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sun 05-Mar-17 10:47:49

Another? And you already have at least one? That's bizarre. I'm calling that bluff.

SookiesSocks Sun 05-Mar-17 10:48:52

Its difficult because if one persons desire for another child is so strong it can lead to the end of the relationship as they will always resent the other person.

That said i think the first step would be counselling maybe not ending the relationship straight away. I suppose that does depend on if tge person sees the relationship as important or just a vehicle to have children.

LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:48:55

I have 2 kids of my own. He doesnt have any. Its obviously a dealbreaker for him

KateDaniels2 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:50:31

If he hasnt got any and wants kids, i think he has made the right decision.

If its a deal breaker its best to move on sooner rather than later.

SookiesSocks Sun 05-Mar-17 10:50:33

Ahh ok so he has no children.
Did you say that having DC with him was something you wanted/led him to believe?

Why have you got cold feet?

Ellisandra Sun 05-Mar-17 10:50:36

I'm sorry - it was clear from your other threads that you really liked him.
But it was also clear that you didn't want to have another child - so you've done the right thing, and looking back you'll be sure of that.
flowers for the hard days until you get to that point.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:53:07

This is the right decision for both of you. When dating i specifically didnt date men who did not have children as I was done having them.

Joysmum Sun 05-Mar-17 10:53:12

Sounds like he's done the right thing. Better to end it now than give up his chance of being a biological father and resenting you for it. Especially given you were willing to TTC with him and have since changed your mind. Of course you're perfectly entitled to do that, but the agreement was changed and I'm glad he's being realistic.

LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:53:24

Sookie he knew i was unsure and never led him to believe anything else. Ive already got 2 kids and im happy with my lot.

RandomMess Sun 05-Mar-17 10:53:28


LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:58:55

He stayed in his sisters last night. I imagine hes going to want to collect his stuff soonsad. DS is 14 he knows but DD doesnt she'll be devastated.

SookiesSocks Sun 05-Mar-17 11:00:39

Unsure does leave the option for a yes. Which he was probably hoping for.
Not helped by the fact you agreed to ttc.

You cant blame him for making the choice when you knew he wanted DC but that does not mean it hurts any less OP.

You will get through this flowers

LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 05-Mar-17 11:05:05


THC63 Sun 05-Mar-17 11:49:45

It's the right outcome for you both but it will take some time and pain to realise that.

LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 05-Mar-17 21:13:55

Im just really sad. I havent told DD yet she just thinks hes staying at his sisters for a few days and coming back. She calls him dad shes going to be so upset. He texted me to come round tomorrow to talk but i dont see how things can changesad

tribpot Sun 05-Mar-17 21:19:04

Unfortunately you want things which are mutually exclusive. There's no compromise here, and both of you are perfectly justified in wanting what you want.

It is time to let him move on and find someone else who does want kids. A very hard situation for you both, you have my sympathy.

LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 05-Mar-17 21:30:57


TreeTop7 Mon 06-Mar-17 00:40:48

I'm so sorry. He's done the right thing though.

The alternatives would be staying put and building up seething resentment towards you, or slyly looking for someone who's amenable to having babies whilst still with you, and then dumping you for her. He's definitely chosen the honourable route.

LovelyUnicorn83 Mon 06-Mar-17 17:33:32

My DD keeps asking me where ex is. Ive told her hes at his sisters but she wants to know why! I dont know what to say to her

BlondeBecky1983 Mon 06-Mar-17 18:39:17

As hard as it is, he has done the right thing. This is a huge deal breaker in a relationship if partners disagree. Hugs xx

MoominMamma3 Mon 06-Mar-17 21:00:56

So sorry to hear this OP, I read your last thread. Just big hugs to youflowers

LovelyUnicorn83 Sun 12-Mar-17 12:36:31

I got a positive pregnancy test this morning

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: