I have been seeing my partner / gf for 2/3 years , it's always been very intense with lots of highs but lots of lows with no middle ground if that makes sense. Anyway we went away a few weeks ago and again we had a fall out over nothing as usual resulting in me 'smoothing' things over to get the break back on track.
We have come back and I have instigated a bit of time apart (we don't live together) to decide if we want to carry on , she has said she wants to try again but happy to give some space but I am more than 50/50 thinking the time is right to move on (at the minute) . Now my question next Wednesday during our agreed time apart with NC it is her birthday I obviously have a card and have tickets for a joint day out in a couple of weeks ....what do I do , give her the cards and present or just not acknowledge her birthday ? How would you feel in that situation ? Thanks
I think I would be inclined to post a card saying that you know you are having time apart but you didn't want to let her day pass by unacknowledged. Try and make it clear that you don't expect any communication from her though.
Unless you have finally decided by then that it's over that is.
I personally would do the right thing and rip off the plaster quickly and stop prolonging the agony. Unless you want a future of highs and lows with little middle ground then you know this relationship is fundamentally wrong for you both.
See her asap and tell her it's over and wish her well for her future. Unless it's a big birthday with a huge party planned don't use it as a reason to delay further. Give her the tickets to use with a friend.
I've had a similar situation. If you know you don't want to get back together perhaps post the card (not the tickets) to show you care, but keep it closed 'I hope you have a wonderful birthday' and NO I love you's! If there is a chance to go forwards as a couple, send the tickets, take her out and put all your effort behind it, it takes a long time to meet someone worth fighting to keep.
Thanks for the replies, it is not a big birthday and nothing planned for the day ...as for ripping the plaster off that's the advise I would give but being honest I am not 100% that's why I need some space. We have been in a similar situations before and just got on with it this next day .
I need to know I have made the correct decision and not regret it later ...
So an update we went on the planned birthday day out and had a really good time ..but in the cold light of day I still think I want out , when we are apart I can see things so clear and fell like splitting is best for both of us, then we spend time together and I think I could be making a big mistake by ending something that 'could ' be great if we sort our shit ...help heart and head 😳
Well another update I have finally made the decision and finished the relationship I am feeling pretty bad at the minute she didn't want it to end but respected my decision . I am now trying to convince myself I have done the right thing ..sure I have ...