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I have just reported my ex to the I am scared *TRIGGER WARNING*

(29 Posts)
harrypotternerd Sat 04-Mar-17 05:24:22

My ex and I split up in early 2015. He was abusive throughout our entire relationship and has continued to be violent afterwards. There was sexual assault involved. The police are investigating after I made a statement and said even though it has been a few years they can sometimes get a conviction for sexual assault. I am now scared of what he is going to do once he finds out I have spoken to the police.

FrenchLavender Sat 04-Mar-17 05:26:55

What triggered to you report past assaults and abuse now?

harrypotternerd Sat 04-Mar-17 05:34:17

he was still being violent and knew he would not stop. They asked for the full history.

FrenchLavender Sat 04-Mar-17 06:14:07

Sorry I was confused by your wording. So you've continued to spend time with him since you split two years ago, even though he is your ex? Or does he just turn up uninvited and get violent and abusive with you? So the violence is an ongoing thing but the sexual assault was from two or more years ago?

harrypotternerd Sat 04-Mar-17 06:45:08

we have children together so see him at child exchanges but the police are getting ss involved and said i will no longer have to. the sexual assault is from throughout our relationship (2010 -2015) and the violence is still ongoing. sorry im not making sense, i had to go through everything with the police

RebootYourEngine Sat 04-Mar-17 06:48:20

Does he gets violent in front of the children?

harrypotternerd Sat 04-Mar-17 06:55:51


NaiceBiscuits Sat 04-Mar-17 07:00:32

So glad you've reported him, now you can protect the children and yourself. It's also worth filing a non molestation order with the court to keep him away. Make sure to ask for the power of arrest to be attached to it.

FrenchLavender Sat 04-Mar-17 07:05:29

Do you know when he is likely to find out about your statement? I don't know much about this sort of thing but has anyone advised you about getting an emergency injunction or whatever they are called, so that he cannot come within so many metres of you without triggering an immediate arrest?

Does he come to your home for these child exchanges?

FrenchLavender Sat 04-Mar-17 07:05:55

yes that's it, a non-molestation order, thank you Naice

RebootYourEngine Sat 04-Mar-17 07:10:59

I would also look into getting a non molestation order. You need to protect yourself and the kids.

OnlyWantsOne Sat 04-Mar-17 07:16:19

You've done the right thing!!!

Is there any one in RL that can physically support you through this xx

fumingbird Sat 04-Mar-17 07:17:15

Have a look at this site for help with a quick non molestation order,
Did the police talk about a dvpo?

Holly3434 Sat 04-Mar-17 07:32:31

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

QuietNinjaTardis Sat 04-Mar-17 07:34:49

Seriously? Hit report if you suspect troll but if this is real the woman needs advice and support not trolling.

harrypotternerd Sat 04-Mar-17 07:35:45

Holly, no it was not originally about the violence and they asked for a full history and they said they can still charge him for assault. I had no choice but to do the child exchanges because there is a family court order.

pnutter Sat 04-Mar-17 07:36:48

Wind your neck in Holly?? How do you know what you would do in the situation!!!!

harrypotternerd Sat 04-Mar-17 07:38:26

sorry it was originally about the violence not the sexual assault.

FrenchLavender Sat 04-Mar-17 07:50:19

yes holly I think the OP is saying that she reported the most recent violent assault and while making her statement the police asked for a full history so she disclosed the historic assaults, both violent and sexual. I agree it was a bit muddled in the wording but I don't think there is any reason to disbelieve her.

harrypotternerd Sat 04-Mar-17 07:53:13

yes that was what I was saying FrenchLavender. Sorry I wrote this not long after I came back from the police station (I am in Australia) and my mind was everywhere.

twattymctwatterson Sat 04-Mar-17 08:21:05

Holly the ops posts make perfect sense. Perhaps you should check your reading comprehension before accusing someone of trolling after just a few posts

Holly3434 Sat 04-Mar-17 08:33:25

T watty you've come onto this thread to not offer advice to OP but to me biscuit

NaiceBiscuits Sat 04-Mar-17 08:56:42

Holly leave the OP alone. Try to empathise with how she must be feeling, how vulnerable etc, before you launch into a troll hunt. There was nothing helpful about your post because if OP was a troll (and I don't believe she is), then you report the post, and if (as I believe) OP is genuine, you have just been nasty to someone who's already trying to deal with some really hard emotional stuff.

harry your Ex has trained you to want to please him and not rock the boat. You are rightly afraid of him, and you're amazing for having reported him. It's normal that you'll be focused on his reaction, but please spend a moment being proud of yourself for finally standing up to him. Have you got some IRL friends/family who can be with you for the next couple of days?

harrypotternerd Sat 04-Mar-17 08:59:13

yes I have people with me, that is what was suggested by both the police and domestic violence service

BluebellsareBlue Sat 04-Mar-17 09:05:44

OP, it doesn't matter what made you report now, you've done a brave thing and you can ask for bail conditions. Well done you, brace girl.

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