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In need of advice I think my husband raped me

(84 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Tania3541 Fri 03-Mar-17 18:57:06

Really confused I don't know what to think and we do occasionally have rough consenting sex so this is where I am confused

Me and my husband were in bed 2 nights ago and had Already had sex after he woke me up
it took Me about hour to go back sleep .... later I was
Woke up again to find he put his hands on my pants and was rubbing me and I changed position and groaned
I said no I was to tired
Then he put his hand in my pants and pushed his fingers inside me hard so I grabbed his hand & removed it and said NO *** stop it !! as I pushed his hand away ... And I was putting pants back in place he roughly ripped them off and he climbed on top of me pushed my legs apart and had sex with me I was led there in shock and to stunned to say anything after I just turned away and didn't know what to think

We have had sex where he is more dominant than me and that's fine but I'm sorry I'm just feeling very confused
And trying to make sense of everything

He messaged me the next day and said sorry it was a bit rough last night but I couldn't help myself and I know you needed it
He came home last night and said he is fed up of me telling him no and won't put up with it anymore !!! I'm still in shock I don't know what to think

LemonBreeland Fri 03-Mar-17 18:59:10

I'm so sorry you were definitely raped. He has no respect for you. He will just take what he wants.

thethoughtfox Fri 03-Mar-17 19:01:11

He's actually just told you that he intends to rape you every time he wants sex.There are no words.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 03-Mar-17 19:01:13

You were clear in your refusal.

And he's pretty much confirmed he knew you had not consented.

After what he's said I wouldn't feel safe sleeping in the same house as him.

Call women's aid, or rape crisis.

How are you feeling physically? You might want to see your gp?

I'm really shocked, I don't know what to say.

AttilaTheMeerkat Fri 03-Mar-17 19:02:25

You were raped. His actions stemmed from wanting power and control over you.

I would contact Rape Crisis; the details are here:-

thethoughtfox Fri 03-Mar-17 19:02:27

In fact there are: get out of that situation now.

McBinkers Fri 03-Mar-17 19:02:27

Most definitely rape. I'm so sorry. You said No, repeatedly. He is not sorry. Can you stay with someone?

Moanyoldcow Fri 03-Mar-17 19:02:56

Please report him to the police - he absolutely raped you.

I'm so so sorry you are dealing with this.

MrsBertBibby Fri 03-Mar-17 19:03:26

Bloody hell, never mind rape crisis, call the police. He has told you he will do it again.

crazyhead Fri 03-Mar-17 19:03:28

It was rape. I'm so sorry. His follow up reaction is also despicable - deeply chilling. Others more expert than me will come along but I would consider speaking to a specialist agency who can give you swift advice on what to do next. Would you talk to the police? Please take care and remember he is 100 per cent responsible for this vile act.

AnyFucker Fri 03-Mar-17 19:04:21

Please leave him. He is going to rape you again.

Holly3434 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:05:27

He's raped you to teach you a lesson so he thinks into never saying no again. You need to think long and hard over this relationship

MrsDustyBusty Fri 03-Mar-17 19:07:10

Have you children? Are you safe tonight?

Mermaidinthesea Fri 03-Mar-17 19:07:45

You were raped and he will clearly do it again as he has not said sorry or shown any remorse but has tried to BLAME you. I'd report this to the police before the domestic violence gets worse. This is totally unacceptable. You don't rape people just becasue they don't feel like having sex with you.

Emboo19 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:08:56

Echoing others responses, but it was most definitely rape. And it seems he thinks he's perfectly entitled to do so again.
I'm so sorry for you op, is there somewhere you can go stay?

AshesandDust Fri 03-Mar-17 19:09:46

He's so brazenly sure of his power over you that he's spelled it out - he will take from you what he wants. What you want is irrelevant to him.
You're really in a very dangerous situation and need to get away from him asap

Redglitter Fri 03-Mar-17 19:10:26

That is absolutely without question. You need to leave him or report it and have him removed from your home. He's not only raped you but has made it clear he intends to do it again

HecateAntaia Fri 03-Mar-17 19:12:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Herschellmum Fri 03-Mar-17 19:15:10

I'm so sorry! Definitely rape ... massive hugs. Get some help now, the fact he said that he's isn't willing to put up with it anymore isn't right at all. Keep the text message as evidence x

Ellisandra Fri 03-Mar-17 19:16:53

Oh you poor thing. flowers
That bastard raised you angry

picklemepopcorn Fri 03-Mar-17 19:17:00


RedAndYellowPeppers Fri 03-Mar-17 19:17:33

Yes he raped AND he has to,d that he is going to do it again.
I wouldnt feel confortable sleeping in the same bed than him.

YY to Rape Crisis as soon as you can.

NewPuppyMum Fri 03-Mar-17 19:20:18

Saying he knows you needed it is also very chilling.

He raped you. He will again. Get out.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:21:18

My exh raped me years ago. I confronted him the next day. He denied it. I took my wedding rings off and made my plans to leave. Took me 2 years but I left. . And I have regretted every day that I didn't ring the police... Find the strength to report him and that first time will be the last time or it will become the normal in your relationship. . flowers .

DevelopingDetritus Fri 03-Mar-17 19:21:44

You need to get away from him straight away. Sorry this has happened to you.

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