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What should I do next....

(9 Posts)
Terrible30s123 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:36:50

Excuse the teenager esque post but I haven't been in this position for a while......Sorry for the long back story but bear with me...
I am a single mum of one! Last year I decided to start dating again and had some ok dates and some disastrous ones! Then in January I meet a guy, child the same age as mine, lovely, attentive, sweet, funny and much more! We have been taking things very slowly as we both lead hectic and busy lives. We've been on a fair few dates (6 or 7) and last night we.... well... you know. It was all amazing.., then this morning arrives and I realise I really like him and I'm now in a position where I could get hurt! We haven't had the chat yet and now I'm being the typical girl and worrying that I've just given him what he wants and now I'm going to get my feelings hurt. Do I....Chill the f out and see how things go? Ask him my least favourite question 'where is this going'? I just want to establish where I stand.

pallasathena Fri 03-Mar-17 18:16:53

Play it cool. If you come over as all needy, it could backfire. You must keep things in perspective and avoid obsessing about him. Men find that a real turn off evidently.

plotisgone Fri 03-Mar-17 18:51:51

Are you generally a person who needs reassurance?

Cmajmp Fri 03-Mar-17 18:55:33

I was like this when I started dating my boyfriend ! I decided to play it cool and he was the one who asked me where it was going lol. Personally I'd chill out and see what happens. Good luck x

Huskylover1 Fri 03-Mar-17 19:15:01

Oh NOT ask him where it's going after 7 dates! Chill out. Make him do all the running. Seriously, if he wants to go exclusive, he will ask you sooner rather than later. The 2nd time me and DH slept together, he snuggled up to me and asked me if I would be his Girlfriend/exclusive. If he wants you "off the market" he will close the deal.....just sit tight.

TheNaze73 Sat 04-Mar-17 13:33:47

7 dates in, is no time to be having the chat, look no further ahead than your next date & chill

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sat 04-Mar-17 15:37:36

Terrible30s123 you are nervous but I think posters are saying don't confuse dating with a relationship and that's true. At the same time, I usually feel talking is good - so if you need to know how things stand, ask him. If your question scares him off then he probably wasn't likely to stick around anyway.

worrying that I've just given him what he wants but you felt ready and got something out of it too, didn't you?
now I'm going to get my feelings hurt well yes there's that risk but if you only guarantee no hurt if you hide away and never emerge. That's signing up for a pretty lonely time. You are 'back in the saddle' now and it might be scary to play it cool but you have the power of choosing to take things at a pace you are comfy with.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sat 04-Mar-17 15:39:07

Oops there was 1 "if" too many there:

but you only guarantee no hurt if you hide away

noego Sat 04-Mar-17 16:17:00

Chill the F out. Enjoy. Don't get to invested just yet. If you are seeing each other in 4/5/6/ months then ask the "where is this going" question.

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